I'm not Cinderella

Tonight…

He did make me get touched greatly by everything that he’d celebrated for me tonight. Romantic scene, white roses, candles, bucket drink, our favorite songs and everything…just like wonderful dream that flew me away to another planet for a long moment.

If it were like in love novels, the girl would get moved to tears and run towards him and say “I love you, too” then they would give each a passional kiss. After that, they would be in love offically.

Yes, he is exactly the Charming prince in the dreams of my childhood and if only I had turned back the time a few years ago, I’d have been a Cinderella being willing to put my foot into the glass shoe. At the present, however, I’m not Cinderella anymore then he isn’t the right prince for my heart for I’m not a half of his, either.

As a matter of fact, he bared his heart to me a few weeks ago and I refused. Because the “glass shoe” isn’t suitable to me, and the point is I’m not Cinderella, how come I take it for myself while it ain’t mine?

You know what, once I take the shoe for granted that it’s a glass shoe, I mean it’s so fragile that I’m pretty scared to try on. Just like my heart, it’s very easy to break into pieces if I’d take any more brutal touch. It’s beautiful, yup the “glass shoe” is beautiful but it’s also fragile to guarantee. It’s simple dangerous...like happiness.

For this time, I was speechless and kept quiet from the beginning till the end. He asked me something, he told me a lot and the first time, we had indeed had a Vietnamese conversation completely which drove me to think that he was being seriously to me. Not the way he wanted to flirt with me like other girls.

If what’s happened tonight for any girl, I believe she must be the happiest and luckiest one in the world because she was confessed by the best man *smile*, I mean the prince on white horse in fairy tales for real. Sadly, I’ve got someone else in my heart already.

Am I silly? Am I stupid? Am I letting this lucky chance go away easily? Am I giving myself superior airs? Would I meet karma for refusing guys?

I dunno…I seem to loose my mind then even at the moment, I dunno whatever we talked and how my emotion was…Morever, I couldn’t remember what he did and tell me during the night…What’s wrong? What’s going on?

He eventually said to me that he would like to wait for my change of heart. But I don’t believe in promises actually. Sooner or later, he’d forget me as easily as loads of guys who used to confess and get my words “I’m sorry but I can’t”, sure enough. Trust me, he’s gonna find out another one that is better than me a million times due to the fact that I’m not a good girl :D I’m ugly, clumsy, childish, mean, silly, stupid and blah blah things that my best friend could take a whole day to speak ill of me. Ask Jun *laughing*

Hm… I don’t mean that I doubt his love; becausee, although I mightn’t touch it, I did sense it a bit anyhow. You know, I was able listen to every beat of heart very fast inside his arm while he embraced me tightly and…he had kissed me too quickly before I recognized whatever had just happened, before I felt it clearly. Just a very touch lightly on my lips but it did wake all of my nerves up and that way was absolutely strange *smiling*

Yup, I frankly admit that it was amazing but it utters nothing. Because he was correct, it was just a kiss goodnight and goodbye :) it’d better not mind the kiss too much.

He’s coming back to HCMC tomorrow to arrange the rest of his business and fly outta country, return to where he lives. The fact that he’s gone to HCMC for business and take a time to breathe as his “haliday” ( holiday with hallie *lol*). I reckon by the time he sets foot on Suisse soil, he’ll have forgot everything and we’d become good brother and sister again :p 

…

Running into my bedroom, I opened my music box and twisted the winder key and let the song “Love story” resound. Seeing the ballerian was twirling around the pin, somehow I was under the impression that there was an enomous stone saddling on my heart, I was fed up with dealing that sort of trouble because I wanted to hurt nobody again, it’d hurt me back…even worse than themselves a double times.

Alone in the dark place, I ignored my eyes flooded by tears and I did not have enough energy to find out the reason for crying anymore.

Dear the emotional me, what are you doing these days? Are you controling my mind and body? Do you wish to turn me into the sort of sook? Anyway, yup, sook deserves some happiness then it ain’t quite bad.

As long as I can pretend before everybody, it’s fine :) they needn’t see through this side of me, I hate it :D

…

At last, tmr I’m about to offer him this music box :) The giver hoped me to offer the right person this box someday. As my thoughts, he is the right one needing it much more than me; what is more, I believe he’d understand what I mean as offering him this thing.

Hopefully, he will love and enjoy it like the way I did...

Be happy. Love. Be faithful. Get married. Build a family. Have “happiness for ever after”. I love you too, brother!

Et merci, anh :)

- Hal