Last day of '15

Well, I'm in HCMC right now so I'm unable to write a very long post to pinpoint what I've gained and lost through the year.

I still remember the last of 2014 came to me with a bunch of bitter experience and heartbroken feelings that I took me months later to recover.

I did burst into tears at the first moments of the year which resulted in one year with tears, pain and loss.

Regardless of how hard sadness and loss have beaten me thru the year, the freaking magical highlight was my boyfriend who saved my mad world and gave me every reason to carry on and to be loved again ∩__∩

Words can't express enough how much I'm grateful to have the man in my life :')

Due to the marriage of my cousin, I'm gonna spend New Year's Eve with my family in HCMC. Yeah, again I'm back to the city after one year in different state of mind.

I miss my bf and wish to have him right now for the New Year's Eve celebration with me, holding his hand tight and together contemplating firework, wishing that our love would grow and grow stronger through the timeline.

*sigh*

To sum up my 2015 for good:

What I've lost and got through:

- my hello kitty purse and cap

- nearly 1 million vnd -_- 

- 2 glasses 

- cellphone

- scholarship (if you count it in)

- minor surgery

- intense breakouts and pimples with a countless of scars -_- my face was like...oh well, like shiet!!!

- treatment period for over two months 

- allergy to the freezing weather +.+

- mom's retirement

What I've gained:

- mr.Right ^(oo)^

- him him him & him again ╮(╯▽╰)╭ 

- my favourite skincare products (I'll have one post dedicating to the field later. Having gone thru the hell, I'm aware of how necessary it is to take care of my skin because of its damn sensitiveness, like my personality (￣-￣) )

- vital knowledge of skincare regime, health and beauty (=^.^=)

- new smartphone - baby Sammy, of course :)) and a classic Nokia from mr.Right lolz~

Not bad not bad. There were many events in 2015 with both positive and negative sides, it was fair to me though :') I'm feeling more than enough. Hopefully, I'll be luckier and more succeed, if possible, in making my way to the world, the real adulthood that I forecast it wouldn't be easy at all.

As long as I'm beside my bf, I believe I will be able to overcome any obstacle no matter what :)

Thanks for all the best and worst things coming to me after one year, equipping me with fortitude and a pocket of lessons to get ready for inconveniences that I'm bound to confront soon :))

Thank you, 2015!!! Bye bye!!

2016 :x plz fill me with joy, happiness and fortune :*

Love ya,

Hal

PS: gõ bằng đt, ko có time check lại cũng ko biết lên máy nó có ra cái nùi giẻ gì ko :)) nhưng kệ. Đi chơi đây, hết tháng hết ngày rồi 0^◇^0

Xmas with him

It's been a while since I wrote the last gloomy post due to the final term exams :') Thanks, God! I completed the exam right on the Christmas day so that I could date with my bf at night and have fun together outside.

That was the very first Christmas I had someone special beside me, driving me around the city, walking together, having ice-cream, taking photographs and clasping my hand in his, being Christmas-ing with each other.

I still remember I used to wish that the polar star of my life would rise at Christmas someday and stay there forever to guide me through the madness of my current world, lead me to happiness and warmth in freezing days that I was always yearning for. 

Now, my wish has come true with mr.Right :')

Dear Santa, I didn't need to make a wish-list this year because I guess I've got more than enough for my own - the one I love and being loved by him :x 

I'm blessed!

Much love,

Hal

Đen!

Dạo này mệt mỏi nhiều, chuyện u uất thế nào cũng có rồi xong cũng chẳng có tâm tư online mà viết blog này nữa. Cả năm buồn chuyện mất đồ, bệnh hoạn, đau đớn mấy thứ bên ngoài, giờ còn có mấy ngày cuối năm lại chuyển sang tâm bệnh :)

Mình cũng thấy gần đây mình biến chất nhiều rồi. Chủ yếu là tiêu cực. Có những lúc nhìn lại thấy mình sai lầm, suy nghĩ không còn tươi sáng tốt lành nhiều như trước đây nữa, mà nó mang tính chất xấu nhiều hơn.

Mình cũng không muốn thế này. Nhưng riết rồi nó lại thành như thế. Hoặc người khác nhìn mình cũng sẽ định nghĩa mình như thế. Xưa mình quan tâm, giờ thì thế nào cũng được.

Suy nghĩ nhiều quá cũng vậy. Không suy nghĩ cũng vậy. Thôi thì thà thanh thản yên ổn như lúc trước được một tí có vẻ tốt. Bây giờ chỉ muốn một mình, làm những việc mình thích rồi thôi không phải nói chuyện với ai.

Dạo này chắc ngoảnh tới ngoảnh lui nói chuyện được với mỗi bf và Anne. Còn lại cũng lười chat chit, lười hỏi thăm, lười nói chuyện, lười ra ngoài :) Chắc là cũng dễ bị ghét và bị xa lánh. 

Thôi chịu vậy. Vì mệt nên lười. Lười nên dễ tính. Rồi dễ tính quá cũng đâm ra dễ dãi. Mình lúc nào cũng cười hề hề cười với nhân loại, còn lại cũng không muốn suy nghĩ đến chuyện gì nữa :))

Giờ mình chỉ siêng nằm xuống, trùm mền và ngủ... quên hết mọi chuyện để không nghĩ gì nhiều nữa, không phải lo toan bộn bề mọi thứ nữa. 

Lớn rồi, suốt ngày cứ trách nhiệm gắng với bao nhiêu chuyện áp lực. Rồi từ những thứ áp lực đó lại biến con người chả ra thể thống gì cả. Cái vòng lẩn quẩn, lối mòn này cứ liên tục diễn ra từ thế hệ này sang thế hệ khác rồi cứ vậy xã hội cũng vậy :) 

Sản xuất nhân bản ra một loạt người giả tạo, dối trá, lợi dụng và bợ đỡ nịnh nọt rồi tiền với bạc. Rồi cũng sẽ có một loạt người giàu có cho rằng mình thanh cao, coi thường những người ham tiền và đem cái thứ "nội" với chả "tâm" ra giáo lý đạo đức =))))

Vậy đó. Gìa rồi. Giờ mà như mọi năm là háo hức đếm ngược Noel, viết thư cho Santa Claus, bật nhạc Xmas cả ngày, hát hò các kiểu và lo viết thiệp cho chúng bạn :) Thế mà đến hôm nay vẫn như này, chả thiết cái gì.

*chẹp*

Già thật rồi :)

Than thở một tí xong rồi lại vào học bài đây =]] Sắp thi rồi. Đôi khi nghĩ cũng buồn cười, học để làm gì???!

Little achievement

There was no sign that I would receive the certificate of merit this evening and honestly I was about not to attend to the ceremony at my school as usual :') Fortunately, my bf and I went for getting more information about our upcoming internship :))

The fact that I, in the line of proficient students, seemed to be the only one whose appearance on the stage was totally in a mess :'( God knows, I couldn't expect anything :((( 

Anw, congrats on my little achievement!! I'm more delighted as standing on the same line with my bf beside me, together being rewarded the certificates :')

My parents are proud of me and so do I. hihu =)))

Whatever. This is a memorable event to recall :))

Congrats, Hal!

Yay, it's winter!

"Santa brings me a dinosaur 

Old as a million years or more

Least as tall as the second floor

Santa brings me a dinosaur"

The air is sharp with the approach of winter bringing the rains in torrents that is our matter for dates outside. Fortunately, we could afford a dry night to date as a genuine couple at the end of September, last night I mean :’)  

We went for a lovely animated cartoon named “The good dinosaur” which was closely relevant to our story because Dino is his nickname given by me due to its two meanings about my bf’s appearance and personal characteristic. 

The cartoon cracked us up several times for not only hilarious moments but also teasing moments we were sharing during the movie time since I could not bear but comparing the dinosaur Arlo to my bf lolz~ 

How splendid it was as watching the interesting cartoon, curling up in his arm, talking to each other and laughing together :’) Then we had beef noodles as dinner and took a stroll along the beach regardless of a biting wind from the sea. Thanks, God! At least, it was not raining last night. 

So yeah, it’s the beginning of December – the last month of the year. A year with full of losses, pains but happiness thanks to the appearance of my bf like lodestar in the world of madness for which I was always yearning.

Xmas is obviously my most favourite day as usual :)) Yet, I don’t count down this year just because I figure that I have got enough for this Christmas with him. We did have plan together and so do I personally :’) A happy surprise for him :)) 

Get ready to write a Christmas wishlist to put in a gigantic sock and hang it on the window to wait for Santa Claus dropping by and granting my wishes lolz~ Or for the more convenient way, writing a long letter attached with a big lipstick mark and sending straight to Santa’s address at North Pole =))) I still remember I used to do it for real and of course, no response at all but “his assistant” did. You know *wink* lolz~ 

I’m glad that my lovely winter has come but please, I love getting chilled, not wet because of torrential rain -_- I HATE THE RAINS!

------* time for Xmas - playlist *------

The 4th monthsary :)

I believe everything changes but he is the only exception. 

He's changed now, though.

It is raining outside and he never comes...

Raindrops. Teardrops. An aching soul.

Life gest tougher and tougher and people are too busy to mind of what used to be their most loved ones, causing them to forget the best moments they once share and obviously, no reasons to remain them :)

I do miss the 2-month-ago-guy who would do anything to see the sight of me no matter how horrid we had argued before. 

...but his dead silence is poisoning me in the most cruel way that I've ever experienced. 

It's painful...yet I have to face the reality whether I like it or not.

When Fun has gone, Romance has died, Love seems to be the habit of wanting someone when you don't have anything else to entertain. 

:)

Happy the fourth monthsary, Hallie!

I guess I won't count the months together again :) it's terrible as the thought of calculating the days left he's with me. The fear for losing him increases day by day and I have no idea of how to make it easier for me to bear. I cry more. My heart aches much. And know that he won't be here to comfort me again. Something different...

Does he still love me no matter what as he used to say?

"I love you" seems to become rare :)

After all, I'm forever such a cry baby. Weak. Stupid. Vulnerable and Good for nothing :)

If only he could see how painful he has put me through in recent time... It seems to go beyond my endurance!

Pray for Paris!

My deepest condolences and thoughts go those lost in Paris last night and to their families. Even though there is no one there now that might put me in hours of fear, tears and anxiety, somehow a mood of melancholy descended on me for some reasons.

Perhaps it was because Paris has always remained its most significant meaning in my heart with a countless number of memories regardless of the fact that I have never set my foot on the city for once in my life time. 

The notions of the city naturally comes from beautiful stories by former paramour, beloved brothers and besties about parisians, simple happiness and a sense of serenity that you merely discover if you use your heart to touch, through French - the language of love, music, culture, people and even the simplest daily life routine of some passers-by by chance you happen to encounter day by day. 

*sorry for the wave of nostalgia*

I miss the image of Paris that I always draw and keep it safe in my heart and to my belief, it wouldn't disappoint me at the first sight I see it :) The promise to Paris together with mah buddy one day is seemingly shaking due to unwanted and unpredictable elements...

Dear you,

How have you been up there in paradise? My life hitherto has been running on the right path that I yearned for, therefore I temporarily buried all the past along with the dust of you scattered on the river that day, kept it as such the most precious treasure but the scene of multiple terrorist attacks is impossible to neglect for your family is still there and maybe unsafe.

With God, I hope you will support and keep not only your family but also others' in a good condition. I am praying for them too, from the bottom of my heart. 

:) 

"- What's about us?

- We always have Paris"

Tomorrow is gonna be another day. Trust me. #prayforParis

I ❤ Me

It must have got painful as your loved ones show you their entire detachment when you are in the worst conditions, particularly they are those who you call your family. 

However, in my case, I felt nothing but drawing a faint smile as hearing the statement "She's not my business anymore" from the mouth of the one I've have been loving for lifetime while another keeps grumbling to me about how much I bother them with my constant poor health as the most terrible burden they've ever shouldered. 

They wish I could never exist :) 

I used to head into my bedroom, lock the door and start to sob uncontrollably for the sense of both shock and disappointment since those kinds of words were beyond endurance. It was hurtful and too bitter to easily turn back to normal later on...I can forgive but hardly forget :) At times, I fell so deep with this untold sorrows and had to deal with depression until one day, without warning, I become numb and show blank expression towards who seem to verbally hurt me. 

Today was not an exception. There are things that are beyond my control and honestly, I'm incapable of how to avoid them but they still find their way to come to me. It's totally not my fault, either. 

I have never expected anyone in this world either paying attention on me, feeling sorry for me or forcing themselves to have a responsibility to take care of me. Though, don't give me reasons to hate myself and regret my existence on Earth since it has taken me a long period to learn how to love and respect this current me.

Anyway, I guess I am habituated to live in solitude and do appreciate this state. Tomorrow, I'll arrive at the hospital in town to have a check :)) I meant to ignore my symptoms of erymthema but as I said above, I love myself and I don't need to let nobody hurt me mentally and physically again :)

...long time no go off to wander along the lonely tracks, write such an emotional entry like this one, have dinner alone outside and ride the electric bike around the city to gasp fresh air, think of nothing. I did enjoy the night, not a way to escape from the bare painful truth because I'm feeling...NOTHING :))

You are gradually losing the best in me. Even if there is no one loving me, I would always be the one who loves me first :)  

Take care,

Hal

Mệt

Đôi khi cảm thấy mệt mỏi cả nhiều chuyện buồn quá, đặc biệt bước chân về nhà chỉ toàn những thứ không cần và không nên nghe lại cứ phải nghe tới nghe lui như một thứ âm thanh bất khả kháng. 

Nhưng cái gì dần rồi cũng thành thói quen. Món ăn dở đến mấy ăn mãi rồi cũng thành quen. Mình quen chịu đựng nhiều chuyện từ bé đến tới giờ, riết rồi cũng thích nghi khá tốt với nhiều chuyện không hài lòng.

Bây giờ lớn rồi, già rồi nên suy nghĩ cũng già đi khá nhiều. Nói ít, cười nhiều, than vãn cũng bớt đi hẳn, sống trầm hơn lúc trước nhiều và kiểu không để tâm nhiều lắm tới những gì có thể khiến mình buồn. 

À là bớt sensitive đi đấy. Cơ mà đôi khi vẫn hay tự upset mình bằng những thứ không hay ho của người khác, hiểu lầm rồi đủ thứ nhặng xịt lên rồi cuối cùng tự xem lại đáng không, thấy không đáng rồi lại "ừ thôi" xong lại cười nhạt :) 

Chả biết bao giờ mới được thanh thản thoải mái đầu óc được lâu lâu một tí...chớ thấy mệt quá :))

Lại than =))

Thôi, coi hoạt hình Barbie hay coi hài gì đó xong chuẩn bị lên chuồng ngủ cho khoẻ đây. Thế thôi!

Change?

It's been a while I am not longer habituated to write blog daily as how I would do in former period of time. Perhaps the cause of it stems from investing most of my time on real life and you know, the material life that the more you grow up, the more you have a tendency to chase instead of much concentrating on your state of spiritual starvation. 

It seems to me that I am gradually getting lost myself in this physical and realistic world having its power to become more appealing with a bunch of temptations that potentially seduce you out of spiritual world that in turn offers you a peaceful state of mind. 

I miss the time when writing blog and reading novels became a necessary part of my life. I could sit for hours writing fictions, pouring my expression on pages, making a heart-lightened stories on my own, wandering along the lonely tracks in amusement and delight, enjoying every second to live in solitude. Other time, I would listen to instrumental music, go deeper into myself and find the serenity closest to me for the only time. 

I wonder where those me-myself-and-I moments at the present...

I'm bound up in working, studying, hooking up with friends, chatting to virtual individuals, talking to boyfriend, reading skin-care product feedbacks, taking care of outward appearance rather than nourishing inner beauty. How changeable a person would be, even I myself am not aware of this progressively albeit excessively alternation until one day, I found neither reasons nor meaning of life for the day since the routine just goes round and round like a circle without any special points or highlights to be marked.

Sadly, everything is no longer the same, particularly the halicious me that I used to be :) Anw, I must move on forward no matter what 'cause once the time has gone, I'd never be able to find a ticket go back. I would save them as my innocent memories, sometimes looking back at them and reflecting how I have become so far. 

Dear life, I love you no matter what kind of form you are. The more I experience and discover you, the more I treasure you :) 

B-day party

It was an incredible night with bro.Phuong and friends celebrating my late birthday party before it would be too late to memorize the day. 

We had beef hotspot and many other baked dishes, then we headed to a karaoke box to spend the night with me - the birthday girl blowing candles on the cake, cutting it, sharing with one another, singing and having fun :')

Today, I also received late birthday gifts which mostly were from my wishlist, others were my lifetime favourites too. 

Thank you soooo much for everything they have done because of me so far xD Yeah, I'm feeling indeed high and delightful right now :))

Cheers for the 23 year-old Hallie!

Love

PS: kinda get drunk now for some bottles of beer 2nite =,= hopefully it won't have me hungover tmr morning coz I have a class :'(

Sweet 23

(me being 23 - still clumsy and silly)

True friends are always true friends no matter what :) In spite of my deactivated facebook account, mah brothers and besties still found out a way to reach me and send me a countless of birthday wishes, hearts, kisses and presents according to my wishlist that blew me away.

I've got Hello Kitty stuff today and other skin care products dispatched from other countries and cities are on the way to my house soon in a few days. It is obviously pressie favoured by me heaps for its both mental and physical meaning within. 

I often prefer sudden pressies on no occasion to those offered on particular events. Pressies are just the way of showing how much you concern and love the receiver, not material meaning.

The 23rd birthday party is going to be celebrated at the night of following day with mah crew while today was totally devoted to having myself the very first birthday with my man.

We dined out at a restaurant with beef dishes and fried potatoes, then he bought me a little cute doll gateau to spend the romantic night together on the beach :') It was splendid and sweet beside him on the special day xD

Well, twenty three... the very last minute of my day, I wish bf and I would be able to arrive the final destination and hold hands tight until the end of time together, my career would go smoothly, life would become less difficult to me and my health could be improved somewhat for I'm fucking frightened of any more medical examination :'(

Again, I am extremely grateful to my brothers and best friends, particularly my bf, for their unconditional love towards me as always. Yes, I am blessed!

Can't wait until mah party tmr nah~ 

Sweet 23 ❣

Hal

PS: Mặt càng ngày càng bành. Bành như bánh bèo vô dụng :(((

Last day of 22

I am twenty two going on twenty three lah lah lah~ 

A bunch of matters have lately bother me and definitely upset me much but I'm still attempting to keep smiles on my lips, keep my chin up and stay away from them as far as possible so as to remain my mood at the best state of mind because I'm sick of mistreating myself due to those who ain't worth the least kindness from me. 

The last moment of twenty two is passing by within a few hours, leaving space for a fresh start of twenty three. Honestly, I have not yet recognised that I've come this far of age :') Perhaps, it's just because I'm still childish and restless like who I used to be back to my teenage years so that I am totally forget my real age lolz~ 

Even my friends often tell me that I'm younger than my age both inside and out haha

Aniwei, 23 ain't old enough to think big but not too young to get unaware of the future career and behave like whatever I want to do.

That's the reason why I must learn how to forgive those who would hurt me, insult me or even cheat me by their most disgusting actions :)) oe oe oe~ If people don't like you, make them scare you :')

I'm almost coming to 24, I'd better be different and act like an adult should do. Be polite. Smile and Give not shit to them but a middle finger right straight to them and see how astonishing their facial expression should draw he he~

Tomorrow night, I'm about to have myself a little birthday party with bf and only with him being beside me on the special day is more than enough to me. Needless of either so-called friends or a tasteless party that I must put on fake smiles and pretend to behave with propriety, I only need bf for my birthday as how we both were on his :') 

Thank you the age of 22 for fulfilling my lifelong wish of encountering someone I truly love and being loved back by him, regardless of several troubles and dreadful pains I have experienced during the age. 

I'm grateful and blessed to see the age of 23 ^^~ Get ready to welcome my new age in excitement xD Well, 23 ain't a lucky number to me but who knows :'( Please don't kill me twice, babe *frown*

*rolling*

Hal

PS: Anh tôi vừa bay về và lại rần rần chọc ghẹo em gái =))) khổ vãi :v

Smile again

To my dismay, I have jumped from this unpleasant surprises to another since last night and I guess I’d better deactivate facebook account for good because it is high time to continue what I have left behind due to wasting my time serving and supposedly fostering virtual so-called friends who I would cherish with all my heart. 

Instead of getting depressed and letting my mood fall down to the bottom as usual, I learned how to knock back and rock my life again with much energy by using my optimistic attitude towards those who throw lemons right at my face. Well, I am ready to take and make them lemonade :’)

It’s quite a waste of time if I spend most my time in disappointment, feeling not alright about friendships and acquaintances while they are not worth my calories at all. Promises are made to be broken as always. That’s the reason why I rarely believe in either promises or sweet words which may sugarcoat and blur my right sense of reality. 

Yeah, I am different a bit. Perhaps. Yet I am still Hallie to beloved ones who mean a world to me :) They are still with me no matter what, teach me how to deal with troubles, get through storm of life, crack me up, rock my life and stay “halicious” as usual and more importantly, my birthday is always their priority in spite of long distance friendships and brother-sister ships our situation is.

Long time no video calls with mah crew and bro.James. Honestly I just caught up a little time with James this morning about mah birthday. Although he is overly bound up in his travelling some distance from time to time for his business, he still acts like a good brother by showing his concern my current condition, love stories, family and schooling stuff and my b-day for sure. I’m grateful to have you and Jun as my besties *muah muah*

Jun is flying to Italy on holiday around October 28 to 30 =.=” The promise for a big surprise was broken, I’m okay with it though lolz~ ‘coz any day can be made up for the special day called birthday *wink* I know who he freaking is, don’t I? 

Things change. People come then go. I give not poo about it again. I won’t let them shadow by life by their dark again. As long as my close friends, besties and brothers are there for me, I’m ready to stand up and fight on my own again.

*sigh* 

A little fight with bf this morning is indeed tiresome as well…

Gosh!!!!

Smile up again coz the next hour is going to draw another mood, certainly *wink wink*

Much love,

Hal

PS: Happy birthday to Anne :') one of mah bestie :* Wish her all the best beautiful wishes in the world xD

Mah b-day wishlist :')

1. Hada Labo Lotion

2. Clinique moisture surge extended thirst 

3. Serum C insta natural

4. La Roche-Posay Anthelios XL SPF 50+ Dry Touch Gel-Cream Anti Shine

5. Kiehl's eye cream with avocado

6. Eucryl Toothpowder Freshmint

7. Badger Sunscream (Lavender)

8. Neutrogena Wave Sonic Power-Cleanser

That's all I want for b-day lolz~ Nói chớ đề ra vậy thôi có gì mình còn purchase nữa =))) Kiểu đặt ra mục tiêu í mà :") Thứ 5 sanh nhựt òi nah :))

Case tai thỏ

Vừa tậu được một em case tai thỏ hồng xinh đẹp cho bé Sammy nhà mềnh :") Đi mua cùng bf nên kiểu hạnh phúc nhiều lắm.

Thật ra bữa giờ Sammy bị hỏng nên mang đi bảo hành cũng được mấy ngày rồi. Hôm nay mới đi lấy về xong bf chở đi tái khám rồi đi mua case mà đi khắp nơi mình vẫn chả ưng nổi cái case nào. Cuối cùng mới lấy case này kiểu vì mình nà thỏ mà nên mua cho nó hợp cạ với chủ cả cũng xinh nữa ^^

Dạo này yêu bf nhiều lắm. Tình cảm hai đứa ngày càng bền vững, yêu thương và trân trọng nhau nhiều hơn. Hôm nay đã 3 tháng lẻ 2 ngày rồi, cũng sắp sửa 100 ngày bên nhau rồi và tình yêu vẫn vậy :)

Đôi khi cũng có cãi vã nhưng rồi lại làm hoà rất nhanh.

Thời gian mình viết blog dạo này không nhiều vì mình bận khá nhiều. Năm cuối mà. Còn không có cả time cho bản thân nữa cơ nhưng mình sẽ cố gắng giữ thói quen này. Lưu lại nhiều kỉ niệm nhiều thứ hay ho để về già còn có cái mà đọc lại rồi cười ^^

Ngày đẹp, case đẹp, bé Sammy đã hoàn toàn bình phục lành lặn mà mẹ Hallie cũng lành hẳn vết thương mổ rồi. Tươi ~

Yêu,

Hal

Tired...

Life is getting tougher and tougher day by day because of those who are closely related to my life under on roof depressing me in a very awful way. At times, the thought of leaving all the bullshits behind and moving to have a fresh start on my own at somewhere I’d rather completely feel safe and sound alone than deal with the beloved people and get hurt by them.

It is tiresome as one day you recognize that home is no longer where your heart belongs to, no longer the haven saving you from the storms of life because it also becomes such a hell on earth when you drag your worn-out self home and are confronted with other detrimental effect on your nerve that drives you crazy, close to entirely insane.

If life is challenging me in this time, I figure that I am totally clueless of how to get it through since nothing on me but blank spaces stuck in mind for a long time leads to my letting things run their courses out of my weariness.

My imminent birthday turning to 23 in one week seems to become one of the worst day I’ve ever experienced and I am bound to celebrate no party, just pretend as if the day I was born is a mistake by nature :)

I am both freaking tired and exhausted after days dealing with my beloved people, preparing for the conference today, helping my besties… No energy. No mood. No enthusiasm. Nothing now.

Hôm nay mệt, cũng chả ăn uống gì :) Chỉ muốn ngất đi một lúc cho nhẹ người. Mình chán ngán và mệt mỏi vô cùng rồi íh :) Đắng thật!

Má về :))

Má mới về hôm nay, mua quà cho bạn người yêu còn mình thì chả thấy nói năng gì cả :)) Thôi cũng kệ không tính toán làm gì.

Hôm nay là một ngày quá dài, sáng lên trường học tới trưa về, đi ăn với bạn người yêu xong về nhà ngồi nghĩ ý tưởng cho cái Hội nghị sắp tới xong rồi đâu đấy lại lên trường họp nhóm tới chiều về nhà mình đi tắm xong lại đi khám rồi đi ăn uống tí ti rồi bạn người yêu lại đi dạy :( 

Mình đang quay cuồng như này trong khi giờ này bạn í vẫn chưa được về nhà :(( Thương kiểu gì đâu không chịu nổi >.< Cả ngày bên mình, đưa đi rồi đưa về chỉ vì lo lắng không an tâm cho mình đi một mình...

Thương quá thương chết được... tự nhiên hôm nay cứ nhìn bạn người yêu xong cười cười :)) Ngớ ngẩn như nào chả hiểu xong rồi lại kéo vào ôm thật chặt rồi hôn thật sâu cho bỏ nhớ đi =))) Khùng mất rồi.

Tình hình là đang mất kính ở phương nào rồi chả biết nên đang gõ bàn phím một cách rất lạng quạng nhưng mà vẫn ổn do zoom screen gần max luôn rồi. 

Má về đồ ăn khỏi lo nữa, ko sợ đói các thứ nữa :( Mấy nay may mà có người yêu chăm :((( Thương quá đuê ~ 

Hức.. kính đâu rồi bây ơi :((( Mai chuỵ còn nhìu việc cần mắt T_T

À thằng bạn thân tôi vừa mọc răng ngu =))) đang đau vật vờ và tôi đã cười vào mặt nó như thể chưa bao giờ được cười bởi vì nó đã cười vào mặt tôi lúc tôi bị té xe =))))))) Bạn thân khốn nạn vậy mới bền :v 

Grateful Sat 10/10

Sometimes I wonder what good things I sowed in my previous incarnation so that I happen to encounter and fall in love with this man. Today he almost moved me to tears by his unconditional love and concern towards me regardless of our serious quarrel previous night triggering my unbearable manners all day. 

I figured that he would not pick me up to the doctor’s office for my follow-up examination as usual since I had already implied that I needed a space and please no more calls or messages or anything during a couple of following days. 

By the time I asked my dad to ride me to the doc, however, the sight of him was showed up washing away all the anger within me for the day because I was speechless and indeed touched by his presence. At that time, I would like to jump into his arm, keep him tight with me and tell him how much I miss and love him...

It turned out he had been awaiting me for half an hour due to his message not yet sent to my phone while it was entirely turned off for charging its battery. What a simpleton he was! I asked him what if I was not going out, he told me he would wait until I come :)

After the follow-up exam, he took me to the supermarket to buy food for the dinner since he knew my kitchen contained nothing without my mami’s presence he he~ 

No sooner I hit the button “power on”, his message to me was “Let me take you to the follow-up exam. Even though you hate me, get pissed off me, I truly worry, concern and love you as usual. I only thought I needed to see you and wait for you no matter how long it takes. Just because of one thing: I love you!”

How come I go off to sulk any longer with him?! My heart has totally been caught :’) I love him…and will love him for life. Thanks for everything! I’m grateful for this time with this man :)

Love you – my Cancer man!

*bisous*

Hal

Ngày đẹp với n.y

Mami lại đi công tác vài ngày ra Huế, Đà Nẵng và cô gái lại ở nhà một mình phát huy vai trò nội trợ đảm đang các kiểu. Dù sao cũng đang nằm ốm nhà hết tuần nên vẫn có thời gian làm này làm kia í.

Sáng sớm anh người yêu sang mua cháo dinh dưỡng cho hai đứa ăn sáng xong rồi chở mình đi siêu thị mua vài thứ linh tinh về nấu đồ ăn trưa. Rồi trưa vừa ăn vừa xem phim "The visit" với nhau ^^ ~ 

Cảm giác quả thật vô cùng vô cùng hạnh phúc. Lần đầu tiên nấu ăn cho người yêu, mọi thứ không phải đơn giản là nêm nếm sao cho vừa miệng nữa mà nó còn có cả tình yêu thương nêm vào trong đó nữa :') Bây giờ mới hiểu được vì sao mami bình thường đi làm về có mệt cách mấy cũng vào bếp làm cơm, nấu ăn, dọn dẹp nhà cửa... chăm sóc những người mình yêu thương thì sẽ không bao giờ thấy mệt cả.

Nói thật mình với người yêu như kiểu vợ chồng mới cưới í :)) Dạo này cứ tình kiểu gì đâu khó hiểu lắm cơ... Thương bạn í ngày nào cũng sang chở mình đi tái khám các kiểu vì mình ko tiện đi lại, mà papa mami cũng không chở đi được.

Vết thương của mình đang dần bình phục hẳn, cũng không đau nhiều nữa nhưng sẹo vẫn còn đó. Xấu xí lắm, xấu xí tới nỗi cảm giác tự ti chưa bao giờ vơi đi cả. Nhưng bạn người yêu cứ bảo là đừng tự ti, vì dù thế nào thì những thứ bề ngoài đều không quan trọng :)

Mình hạnh phúc với bạn người yêu rất nhiều. Hạnh phúc đến mức nghẹn luôn xD 

Btw, hôm nay sinh nhật Mami lại không có Mami ở nhà. Chúc Mami đi công tác kiêm đi chơi vui vẻ và bình anh nhé :') Hallie yêu má :*

Yêu,

Hal

Huli Amulet & Convalescene

This period of recovering subsequent to the surgery seems to be one of the hardest time in my life since I'm incapable of moving anywhere but sticking my ass all day in bed and suffering the wound pain. I've lost a few kilograms for sure, according to my bf's words due to my very pale complexion lately *frown* 

I'm much obliged to bf for his unconditional loving care towards me in recent time. He visits me daily and picks me up to the doctor's office to have more checks on my wound, then drives me along the city to take fresh air, makes up many stories and jokes to put me at ease.

Sometimes I sense it must be fortune to me as falling in love with such a good man like this ^^ Particularly, he still holds my hand tight and attempts to spend his most time with me in toughness that does move me heaps. 

Last night, this Tiger Eye Gemstone carved Fox Spirit Pendant as my early birthday gift from him was dispatched to my house :') 

According to my personal Feng Shui birth element - Mental, tiger eye gemstone is the best option for me to transmute negative energy very quickly in a balancing kind of way and nourish me from within, giving me more luck as a love charm. The fox spirit is believed to have the power to greatly enhance love and romance luck in every aspect of your life :') 

More importantly, my particular preference for this animal is obvious since I'm quite addicted to Chinese dramas about its tales and legends such as Ghost Story (Liao Zhai), The Investiture of the Gods. 

Thank you, dear...for everything thing you've done for me :') I'm more than enough now xD

Love,

Hal

The minor surgery

I am going to have the damn minor surgery this afternoon without the sight of my bf as my wish since we are getting through three days of separation due to our leaving space to recharge our emery and solving the current tense. 

Last night, he and felt as if we were getting married as most of my close relatives knew him, and I were invited to my cousin’s wedding and we did spend the best time together. I was more than proud of introducing him to my family. He is a good man loving me with all his passionate heart although sometimes it rather goes overwhelming that vexes me heaps. 

Argh… I wonder if I would be able to be alright this afternoon on the dead cold operating table all alone, beside the doctor with a sharp knife on his hand ready to cut through my skin while my eyes are wide open regardless of body entirely paralyzed. It is frightening to think of the surgery in details … 

Buddha, please help and support me to successfully overcome the horrid surgery!

Please :(

Hal

~*~*~*
08:07 pm

Local anesthesia didn't seem to work on me for the fact that it hurt me like hell as feeling the sharpness of knife inch by inch and I couldn't bear but breaking into tears. All I wished at that time was the surgery would last as soon as possible....

No sooner had I come home, I called my bf to confide in him and listen to his voice in order to calm me down and feel better a little bit. It was over but the pain stays... I can't move normally at least within a week :( Love him for always being here beside me at this hardest time.

I'm all right now! ~

Have a check

The fact that I am going to undergo minor surgery next Monday after having an ultrasound scan this evening with mommy scares my hell out because I'm such a chickenheart as dealing with both physical and mental pains since birth. 

If only I could be as half brave as how I would be back to my childhood. The more I grow, the more I'm all aware of the exact pains each time I'm confronted them despite myself and of course it leads to my dreadful obsession with what may hurt me even in the least. 

Perhaps some pains ain't that terrible but "mental illness" does matter in this case and drives the pains more awful than they should be... Yeah, I'm the source of problems :'( Anw, fighting Hallie :(( Everything is gonna be okay...

Speaking of fighting, I had a serious quarrel with bf this afternoon again =.= What a day!!!

*sigh*

[movie] The scorch trials

Well, it was the second watch tonight not only because of the appealing way that the movie had brought to me since the first time but also the ticket was entirely free thanks to bro.Phuong's generous offer for me and Kat at the very second time. We both caught the chance to feast our eyes upon the supporting actor Minho who seemed to be more important and attractive to us than the leading one - Thomas lolz~

Honestly, I have no the intention of reading the trilogy "The maze runner" since they say you'd better either watch adaptations or read the books :') You are bound to become content only with one of them and disappointed at the other one. That's why I'd often rather choose films over books, except special books that would become my preference such as ones in romantic, psychological or thriller, horror genres.

If I'm making a comparison of "Hunger Game" and "The maze runner", I seem to grow biased towards the second choice because of not the practical content but also its good investment that totally convinced me :')

*sigh* It's been a while I have frequently not read any book :( I gotta turn back to my previous habit before everything good made for years would vanish in the blink of an eye :(

Love,

Hal

PS: I'm crazy over Minho :((((((((((

Mid-autumn festival '15

This is the very first Mid-autumn festival together with someone special in my lifetime. Tonight we celebrated the day on the beach, under the moonlight, in a romantic scene :’) Well, it was rather cheesy as we both gazed at the masses of cloud in the night sky and started to imagine what shape each mass looked like. Then we tickled, teased and cracked up as if we had been back to the childhood.

To make the night more “mid-autumn”, we tasted a couple of moon cakes sent from Saigon that Icecloud had made me a few days ago, and a few Oreo cookies as well.

His promise made according to the meaning of the ring that he had offered me on Monday was the freaking highlight, under the full moon implying our love would forever become as full and bright as the moon tonight.

Regardless of my deep sob at the beginning over his entire dead silence heartlessly cutting through my heart, he soon wiped my tears away and planted a kiss on my lips, and held my hand tightly. How foolish of me to remind the past without even the least thinking of what consequences I would trigger, particularly to such a sensitive and vulnerable as him, I should have been more careful each time uttering something that potentially hurts him.

All in all, we made it square and spent the rest time of the night together cheerfully and happily. Nothing terrible happened :) Wish that we could hold hands that tight and love each other until the end of our path as his promise.

Thank you for coming to my life and blooming it with your love, dear!

Love,

Hal

24/09

Regardless of our monthsary today, I couldn't possibly meet him at least for a moment to give him a big hug and tell him that I love him as I had expected due to the fact that I was too occupied with ss Sarah to spend a little time either calling him or hanging out with him.

It couldn't be clearer that he must have been upset, particularly subsequent to having a fleeting read on our blog tonight. Well, even though we celebrated the day last Monday earlier, he'd still like to be with me on this offical day ~

Today, I had myself filled with food from Vietnamese crêpes, mini pancakes, varied snails and clams to papaya salad with shredded beef Jerky, then taiyaki with Kat lol All of them in my stomach within the night :'( I predict it would get ache tomorrow morning for sure ah~

!#!@$!$!%!@%^#%#&#

Nói chung là vui vì lâu lắm mới được gặp tỷ tỷ rồi chở đi chơi nhiều như này, còn được yêu thương cho bao nhiêu là thứ nữa. Có điều buồn vì nhớ bạn người yêu lắm, kỉ niệm lại không đi được với nhau ...

Thôi giờ đi gọi bản vậy :'(

Yêu

My promise ring

On the occasion of our monthsary according to the relationship count up timer, it's been 30 days...well, not exactly 2 months but we decided to pick the day for celebration :') 

He offered me a heart-shaped box put a couple of bunny and piglet (it was supposed to be a dinosaur), happily hand in hand, and a love long love letter in three pages showering me with his deepest affection and much emotions towards me that almost made me weep for being indeed touched. 

More importantly, the promise ring that I'm wearing means a world to me from now on. The ring goes with his vow and obviously defines that I belong to him for enternity. It was quite difficult to buy me the ring for my fingers seem always smaller than available rings at the stores, yet we eventually got the silver ring in the evening hehe

I wish he will become not only the first but also the last one who puts the next rings into my fingers. The engagement ring and wedding ring. 'cause for the first time, I've reached to this sense of entire faith and serenity beside a man. It's love!

I love him.

Hal

Reunion with Andie

Well, these are little gifts that Andie bought me subsequent to her 3-month voyage in Europe in the summer.

Meeting and talking to her always bring me the best moments since we are quite compatible at a variety of subjects, particularly ones involved in Western life.

She has already achieved the European dream while I haven't. It's a bit sad that I seem to cease the notion of taking off and settling there, ending up with a white guy lol because I have got my man right now and am in a stable life that I yearned for.

She laughed and told me it was weird as listening to my love story since bf is entirely opposite to my previous taste. He's a way too good natured and foolish to win my heart that easily. Hah~ who knows what reasons love has (>^ω^<)

Agrh...no matter what, I gotta fly to the Europe sky someday in the future asap. Those little things are urging me to make it work at any cost. H'm I'm still looking forward to getting the post card from Paris sent a month ago since my guy was still in France on his holiday.

Damn! Too many friends have arrived in Europe but me (*^﹏^*) a sense of self-pity is washing over me and raising my enviousness, to be honest.  Huhu when will I make my dream come true?!

Gotta call my bf now. Good night the world (>^ω^<) Texting on the phone is pretty unfamiliar to me, thus I can't type much information hehe.

Love,

Hal

Random thoughts of the future

The second monthsary of our relationship is approaching in all excitement and happiness for we both sense the period that we have been through lasting more than a couple of months, well precisely as if it has been gone two years since the day we belong to each other.  

I have been spending the most delightful and incredibly joyful days together with him regardless of some squabbles on and off, though it doesn't matter because we never get pissed off beyond one day. In the end of the day, either he or I shall actively make it up and happily talk again :')

This initial state of euphoria along with much romance and touching moments that we share hopefully will last in enternal. I'm obviously conscious of the fact that someday we must cross over the early stage of full happiness and romance in order to step into the more realistic and mature one. Challenges. Difficulties. And importantly a long distance relationship for a couple years. 

It seems we always pretend not to imagine the vision of us splitting up temporarily and moving on our paths on our own for a short term. He at times has told me that he would like to give up on the idea of leaving this country for his further education in US so as to stay here with me, probably figuring out another direction to follow but my insistence on keeping his previous plan prior to our relationship successfully persuaded him in spite of my aching heart yearning for his staying here with me.

Although I am dreadfully terrified of losing someone I truly love again, it is unreasonable to get selfish and keep entirely untroubled with his chosen future. Especially, I'm incapable of pulling him back and giving him every reason to regret if one day things run no longer on the right track  :) I must put him in a condition of scarifying nothing for me. 

How painful it is to think of the day! That's why I seem to cease writing blog and pouring my thoughts too much in words because the more I write, the more I over-think and gradually get sunk in the depth of frustration made by pent-up sorrows that I'm going to confront in the near future. Instead, I am attempting to cherish each moment beside him, be mindful of his life in the least,wholeheartedly love him and become his source of happiness and peace like the way he does. 

God, please tie us tightly together and give us more strength to overcome any storm ahead, reach the day we officially become spouse :) I'm more than willing to engage the rest of my life with this man!

I pray!

Love,

Hal

07/09/15

Kat returned to Nha Trang this morning with her pressie, and of course some other cute stuffs I had asked her to take :') Tadah here is the "cool cat" couple bags of Hal & Kat:

The reunion with Aki just came all in sudden due to the fact that I guess it must have taken considerable time to meet him again for his hectic life in Japan, along with plenty of other matters that blocked his convenient ways to get back to Vietnam. Though, this time he's already here over one year away :') 

Aileen, Aki and I had a date at Owl cafeteria :)) We talked a lot about Japan and people there with their lifestyles and the way they dare to quit education at school to pursuit dreams with giving no shit about how others regard them as long as they prove their path they have chosen is right by producing more and more individual achievements further than the majority of people who waste their time at school and follow others' steps and end up their lives in the same tedious circle. 

We discussed much and had fun together :') Perhaps we will sing karaoke someday soon before he gets back to Japan. Oh lah~ wish to visit Japan in the future coz I overheard that it is such a beautiful country with a sort of multicultural society combined Asian and Western nature.

Thôi đi ngủ =))) Buồn ngủ quá rồi!

Love,

Hal

03/09/15

The fact that I'm deeply in a relationship with mah bf seems to change everything from the smallest to the biggest habits while I was single lolz~ 

No more updating blogs daily. No more checking facebook most of time. No more reading books for hours until mid night. No more following Tv series from dawn to dusk. No more chatting to friends for hours. No more sense of craziness when nobody is there for me to talk. No more pouring emotions or any kind of absurd thoughts for thousand pages. 

In contrast, I have become such a smiley and totally happy girl at the moment, thinking less and never feeling lonely in the big world without someone special to get mindful of my emotions and love me all the time. The more I'm with him, the more my love intensively grows :') 

It is blessing to have someone like him by my side. Sometimes I wonder if I traded virtually 23 years in agony for this final reward which is the man whose heart entirely belongs to me now. If so, I'm grateful for this...Just one wish, please keep him stay with me for eternity and don't take him away from me!

This month is quite promising for reunions with several close friends for their trips to Nha Trang city, albeit within only few days. I am looking forward to hooking up with them again for it has been so long since the last time we met. Distance is indeed a matter. We are not capable of hanging out together each time something goes wrong while other relationships in reality along with hectic life are barriers for us to have heart-to-heart conversations as we did previously because it is impossible to sit before the laptop all day so as to talk to someone across the sea, particularly the different timezone makes it more difficult.

Nevertheless, as long as whenever we inbox, there is barely awkward moment at first like "H'm...how are you lately?" It's usually like "Hey, got a sec :)) Hv smt interesting 2 tell ya hehe" Yay, these close friends are good ones to me. Always. So excited to see them here :') 

Erm.. not much to say! Well, my writing skill seems "blunt" =.= I see.. *haiz* 

Bye,

Hal

Loved ones

My bedroom is such a well-organized space after hours with him tidying up and putting things in order yesterday :') Doing household chores together is always the best moment we share, on and off I take break, he would clutch me in a hug or tickle me that cracks me up.

The more I'm with him, the more the hole of emptiness in me gets filled with much love, concern and happiness. It is blessing to encounter and fall in love with this man. For the second time, there is someone else, rather than Ralph, capable of bringing me the sense of serenity and entire happiness, giving me more reason to believe in true love, in any other fated reunion as long as we are meant to be. Yeah, they both are Cancer men lolz~ Warmth and Tenderness :') 

Although his guards are always up when it comes to his emotions, I myself regard this behaviours show how much his love towards me and protect me from other possible negative outcomes, particularly in case that I'm frequently surrounded a huge circle of male friends for years prior to him. 

I wish this relationship could last for eternity since my love is growing day by day :') Argh.... Peace, please stay with me longer and don't force me to pay any cost for this because each time I've come close to the definition of "peace and happiness", it would definitely occur something gloomy and disappointing immediately to wash away the instant bliss that God has just granted me for a moment. 

That's why sometimes I'm afraid of being too peaceful and too happy like this... :( Sr for being overwhelmingly sensitive and vulnerable again but it's truly too happy to be true :))) It's like I've never thought I deserve to have this state of mind: I'm blissed out ='D

By the way, my bedroom previously was littered with papers and pieces of furniture since I had graduated my high school. Well, it's been years lolz~ bf must have been astonished at the first sight of my messy room and then he decided to help me clean up right away. Yeah, a shame on me!

Had I not got him, the room would have been disordered for a few more years with stuff and materials for the university entrance examination haha

Oh lah~ Just got home from a pagoda :') Today is Buddhist holiday for people to express their gratefulness and appreciation to their mother. I went to the pagoda to pray for my parents' health and wish to shorten my lifetime for increasing theirs so as to serve them at their final ages. I do love them :'(

Much love,

Hal