It came to my dismay as my tests were as much abysmal as I had predicted before the week rolling in. I had my first couple Japanese tests in total blank for lacking of time to revise Katakana charts and vocabulary for the test and was hugely grateful for individually getting delayed until the next Monday.
The interpret test today was such another disaster. I was so occupied myself with how to translate some English words into Vietnamese ones that it ran out of time for me to focus on the content of the whole sentence, culminating in this tragic failure that is breaking my fragile heart into pieces :(((((
To be perfectly honest, I am clueless of how to improve my Vietnamese due to the fact that there is a gigantic combination of languages in my head at the moment rather than Vietnamese, and I can't afford time to learn how to use proper Vietnamese again. Oh my God!!
Neither translating nor interpret is my forte for one obvious reason that I use English more frequently than Vietnamese in passive skills such as listening, reading and yeah writing. Vietnamese is to me for now just the tool to communicate with my parents, friends and teachers in reality by common dialogues which I was forced to use whether I like it or not because this is Vietnamese environment where it exists only my mother tongue.
By the way, I gave up on the complicated relationship between Willian and me last night, reminding me of one of my favourite quote in the Japanese drama "The glow of firefly" that Love is not something you can achieve by efforts. I wonder how further I ought to wait for his love and subsequent to his advice on quitting it, I decided to take back my heart from heart, pretending to be just a good friend of his henceforth. At that time, I felt relieved somehow. No more pain. No more tears nor the chest pang as usual. I reckon that my heart has reached to its highest limit, beyond the utmost sense of grieves is emotionless. My heart is getting frozen as ice :)
It's high time to live for myself, enjoy every single day fully because there is no much time to waste for you will never know what tomorrow holds. I'm sick of sitting motionlessly before the screen and awaiting his response which I have no idea where it might arrive, and struggling to figure out what's the hell in his head at times. Dear, I was not born to become a seer! This break-up is for his happiness and mine too. Wish him a good life and an ideal wife whom he loves and treats really well. Honestly.
It's high time to live for myself, enjoy every single day fully because there is no much time to waste for you will never know what tomorrow holds. I'm sick of sitting motionlessly before the screen and awaiting his response which I have no idea where it might arrive, and struggling to figure out what's the hell in his head at times. Dear, I was not born to become a seer! This break-up is for his happiness and mine too. Wish him a good life and an ideal wife whom he loves and treats really well. Honestly.
That's all for today!
Peace,
Hal
