December 31, 2012

(nào thì cũng nghiêng đầu đá lông nheo với năm Snake lolz~)

Một ngày cuối năm đầy gió! 

Ra đường mà gió ào ào, có cảm giác như muốn thổi mình bay luôn lên trời. Đang có ý định tối nay sẽ mặc váy xinh đẹp đi biển với Jun nhưng tình hình thế này thì hôg an toàn rồi, chắc sẽ mặc quần short áo phông cho lành :-<

Năm nay thấy điều hiu, tết gì chẳng nô nức náo nhiệt nhiều như mọi năm. Hay do đây là tết Tây nên mới thế? 

Một năm nữa sắp qua, Hallie cũng sắp sửa người nhớn nên một tí. Dù tính vẫn trẻ con, xốc nổi, bốc đồng và bướng bỉnh thôi rồi, cơ mà cũng có thể nói là biết nghĩ, biết thông cảm và biết kiên nhẫn với người khác hơn một chút.

Xã hội thì muôn đời vẫn thế hông thay đổi. Mình vô tư và lạc quan thì nói mình vô tâm cả chủ quan quá, mình suy nghĩ một chút thì bảo nhạy cảm và làm quá =)) Khó chịu ghê nhỉ?!

Nhưng hông sao, mình nà siêu nhơn Arale có khả năng ném đá bể mặt trăng mà, năng lực vô cùng siêu nhiên và vĩ đại *hây zô* Cho nên mặc kệ người khác thế nào, sau này thì sẽ sống cho mình nhiều một chút. Người khác muốn như nào thì cứ việc tự đi mà như thế, mình hông việc gì phải xoắn.

Năm mới, sẽ luôn giữ cho cái đầu tỉnh táo và trong sạch nhé. Gội rửa đi mấy thứ bụi bặm, xấu xí buồn phiền năm cũ đi. Mình sẽ stay cooler and colder và giữ cho bản thân một tinh thần thép, một trái tim đá :') để tránh cho tim mình khỏi bị bể vỡ sứt mẻ kiểu gì nữa.

Chỉ có mình mới bảo vệ được mình, chỉ có mình mới yêu bản thân mình nhất thôi nên phải cố lên. Cười nhiều nói ít đi một chút :)) Đặc biệt là sẽ hông là gánh nặng của bạn bè nữa, hông tâm sự, hông than thân trách phận và hông emo nữa =))) Lời hứa cho năm mới íh!

Sẽ trở lại là cái đứa lạc quan và tin tưởng tuyệt đối vào những thể loại tươi đẹp, xáng lạn của ngày mai =))) Sống zậy mới đáng sống chớ.

Còn nữa, sẽ thực tế...hông mơ mộng viễn vông bay bổng trên mây trên gió nữa. Xã hội là thực tế, hoàn toàn hông có chỗ cho mấy đứa mơ mộng, yếu đuối và sensitive kiểu dở hơi như mình :)) Nên muốn mơ kiểu gì mơ, yếu đuối kiểu gì yếu, sensitive như nào cũng được cơ mà đừng có để cho người khác thấy là được xD DEAL!!!

Chời ơi chưa gì xao viết nhiều quá zị =)) Lại lên cơn nhiều chiện vô đối :))) Thôi sau đê là vài lời chúc tốt đẹp cho Hallie của 2013 nờ:

Bạn Hallie 2012 chúc bạn Hallie 2013 như sau

+ sẽ đẹp gái hơn mềnh bây giờ =)))

+ chân sẽ dài ra, tóc cũng sẽ xoăn xoăn lại chứ hôg có thẳng đuồn đuột nựa :')

+ sẽ mạnh mẽ, chăm ngoan và cười nhiều hơn

+ sẽ nói ít và chậm đi để người nào nghe không quen còn hiểu kịp =)))

+ sẽ hông phải khóc lóc hay đau lòng đau tim các thể loại nựa

+ sẽ gặp nhiều may mắn hơn

+ sẽ thấy có nhiều niềm vui, hạnh phúc hơn

+ French sẽ phấn đấu từ vựng được 1/3 của Eng (năm nay vẫn thấy từ quá nghèo nàn)

+ sẽ khỏe mạnh và bình yên hơn

+ sẽ tiếp tục phát huy năng lực siêu nhiên của robot Arale đó là bảo vệ thế giới =)))

+ sẽ bớt nóng nảy, bồng bột và bốc đồng. Làm việc gì cũng sẽ bình tĩnh và lí trí hơn :')

+ sẽ fulfill my dream sooner than the plan a few years :(((

+ sẽ cố gắng ăn nói nhỏ nhẹ, dịu dàng để phấn đấu trở thành phụ nữ Á Đông lết la thùy mị 

+ sẽ nói " Whatever" nhiều hơn, càng bất cần nhiều thì càng dễ sống :))

+ quan trọng nhất là sẽ tìm thấy Polaris cho riêng mình xD

Vậy đi. Yêu mình, năm mới vui vẻ và ngập tràn hạnh phúc thăng hoa blah blah. Tối nay đi giao thừa với Jun, hi vọng có bắn pháo bông. Thấy ngoài biển dựng sân khấu hoành tránh quá kìa *chỉ chỉ*

Trời vẫn gió...Hình như muốn thổi bay mấy chiện buồn của mình đi luôn hay sao íh? Thời tiết hiểu mình ghê hén! Bây giờ năm lăn ra xem Perfect Pitch với bạn Jun đây :') Lê la sáng giờ ở đây ='p

Yêu đương,

Hallie of 2012

The last Sunday of 2012

My mood seems to be better than yesterday a million times for my best friend's tried to cheer me up and do whatever he could to comfort me since last night. I do appreciate it!!!!

Maybe because I'm so much optimistic all the time as well and my favorite quote "Smiling is the best reaction in all situations." helped me. Consequently, I'm gonna keep these smiles on my lips evermore *big grin*

Smiles are my strongest power that cure every pain no matter how serious they are. Although it's not complete, I think my pains have been cured somewhat.

Bro.James called me this morning to support and comfort me as usual. Anyhow I was very touched that time for it proved me that he really cared me despite being busy all the time in Suisse.

Touché touché touché :((

My lovely Joyce wrote a long email and attached a song to encourage me and blow my sorrows 100 kilometers away. Thanks babe *kisses*

By the way, there are only 24 hours and 09 minutes left until New Year, I hope I shan't bring my old scars and pains from 2012 to 2013. 

Instead, I've erased my brain completely and only kept inside the best and happiest things for my own. Besides, my blog's skin was turned pink perfectly in order to make my life "La vie en rose". Ain't it beautiful, eh? *tongue*

My life is what my thoughts make it!!!! If I think in pink, always keep my optimistic and positive thoughts in my head as long as possible like this, I guess my pink glasses would dispel the grey clouds of my life :') I believe in Pink and I do believe in Magic.

For New Year upcoming, I'm turning over a new leaf to become a better person. Well, I'm still me...still Hallie as usual, but a realist not a fantasist any longer :')

I promise I will be different!!!!

The following night, I plan to hook up with my best friend and we will celebrate New Year's Eve on the beach. You know, I'm expecting to countdown 10 seconds to New Year 2013, observe fireworks and make a wish with him.~

Sooooo stirred!!!!

Hallie power...BEAM UP ='D

Lavender

The flower meaning of Lavender is waiting for love. So beautiful meaning.

In our life, we want to get love from the person who we love so much. But sometimes we can't stay with him or her. Some one choose to wait for love, but some one not. In fact, happiness is really not related to love.

Maybe you see someone for your whole life, but you ignore them for the whole life.

Maybe you just take a glance at someone but it will affect your whole life.

Maybe someone is happy for the whole life because of you, but you are snubbing them all the time.

Maybe someone makes you happy for a while, but you will remember that for your whole life. 

Some one love you for many years, but you have refused them for many years. 

Some one gives you an emotional expression by chance, but it becomes your eternal missing.

The process of love may be happiness, may be painful. But people who choose waiting for love, they must enjoy the process of that feeling for the whole life, no matter they are successful or not.

Here, I just hope all the lovers can own your happiness and stay with your lover forever.

Lavender clouds pour down all seeds from above 

recurring throughout ages of eternal love

reuniting the soul in a form of sanctifying grace

circulating life into an everlasting race.

It hurts

My heart is ache so badly that I think there is no more pain in the world I'm unable to overcome. 

Why does it hurt me from time to time like this?

Why so cruel? Why?

Am I such a fool after all?

Why do I have to suffer many many pains like this?  No matter how much strong I've been attempting to pretend before others, but I'm still just a girl...very weak and very sensitive.

Gosh! Please heal my heart...please take this bane away from me as far as possible. I hate these tears which only make me look more miserable and weaker than ever.

Felt totally blank now after drowning in my tears for a moment ago in my bed.

I'm deadpan :) God, I guess after now, my heart would turn to stone!!! Nobody else has the right to hurt me again because the old me inside me has been dead.

If I could die, maybe it would be easier to me than being killed a little by little each day like this...

Turned off my cell phone

Leave me alone

Let me give my heart a break.

All of that makes me stronger. It made me who I am today and I think I will turn out OK soon. I swear tomorrow is another day again! Someday I will look back today and give it a smile.

Idiot!!!! :) aren't I?!

Pick up the broken pieces of my heart and put me back together. Alas, I need a glue!!!! 

It hurts. That's true.

Peace,

- Hal

A gloomy Friday

To be perfectly honest, I never wanna blame anyone for this result, but what annoyed me most was that people had not really tried their best to make it work better and my teacher only passed the buck to me to shift the blame.

I swear I can't help those who don't help themselves first. Today I was not selfish or something, I did help but whatever I had done for them was just something ridiculous.

It seems to be my fault at all when I couldn't lead them to the right point, but how about them? Why didn't they try to help themselves first? They did nothing and it caused me to get involved greatly. 

I guess nobody truly understands me...

I tried to help. I tried to be good and nice. I tried to forget myself and thought of others' benefits first. I tried to put others beyond myself. I DID and I SWEAR I always want to HELP.

But this is what people have paid me back?! *smile bitterly*

Actually I wouldn't have got mad at others if they had cared and paid attention on their tasks. Because whatever they do concerns others, too....why didn't they think of others?!

I burst into a convulsive sob this afternoon for my teacher's unfair decision. And maybe because I've been suffering too many things in this society as well, I just wanna disappear for a few days or forever...

What's more, someone who I've never ever dared to imagine that he could be has done a fucking abject thing to my dad. Recently I've been unable to figure out why my dad seems upset somewhat although he pretends as if he is all right.

Now I've got it already :) felt nothing but a BIG SHOCK!!!!

Although I smile everyday, none of my real emotions are really meant to be. However, I don't want my beloved people to care or worry about me. Then the best way to convince myself and them is just laughing and playing jokes as usual.

It's been raining today since the morning...

What a gloomy Friday!

- Hal

A surprising Christmas

1 jour avant Noel

Today was really a surprising and amazing day before Christmas xD

Cooking

Laughing

Talking

Singing

Enjoying

Being happy :')

Being touched

...

are exactly what I did today.

Somehow I got Xmas greeting cards and presents from my friends in time which surprised me so much that I wondered since when they had sent them from other cities in order to get here on December 24th perfectly like this.

You know what, I appreciate whatever they have done for me although we are not in the same place, our friendships are still as the old days. I love them with all my heart and distances don't matter at all.

Aha tonight I saw million tiny pieces of paper flying in mid-air like snow, the climate turned colder out of the blue. After that, I could observe fireworks in red and green. How beautiful and romantic!!!!! 

I was speechless for a while to sense the very moment wholeheartedly and convinced myself that it was snowing for real xD

At that time I made a wish :') Just like my habit, I always do it each time I'm in such a special moment like that.

Hehe I'm glad that I had a real Christmas. At least this year is the first time I've caught and touched something called Happiness so real :')

I suppose I needn't write a letter to Santa Claus with my wish list this year because all of my good friends have done it instead of him. Somehow, they offered me exactly what I had been burning to own for a few days ago =))) as if they read me like a book *laugh*

Love you all, guys!!!!

I'm happy indeed.

Merry Christmas to everybody *big hugs and kisses*

- Hal

Truth and lies

2 jours avant Noel

Someone said "What you see is not what you get, don't just a book by its cover!"

I guess I've understood that quote clearly now :)

Another lesson...

After now, I won't believe in criticisms of people anymore. Not everything that many people talk about someone has to be completely true 100%.

I dunno why people tend to make up some fake stories to hurt others badly like that. Well, I'm glad that I don't take side with anyone in case I've learnt the truth from both sides to know whom I ought to trust.

A friend somehow poured her heart on me today everything about her which blew those fucking bad rumors far away. You know what, I felt very touched as she told me that because she did trust me, she hadn't hold her emotions or secrets from me. Besides, I'm good at putting myself into other's shoes to understand and sympathize with them.

hí hí :')

Actually I reckon people always have two sides, the point is which side is more. There are many reasons to make bad side grow; misunderstanding, criticisms and exaggerated stories are ones of them.

I don't distance myself from anybody whom people speak ill of

I don't hate anybody over 24 hours ='D

I don't judge someone unless I've made it clearly.

People seem to have no business to care but making up stories about some victim to entertain by hurting that one. How cruel they are!

Thank girl for trusting me :) I guess you may trust me partly =))) I'm not good totally but I manage to treat everyone as nicely as possible. Although there are people that don't sometimes, I know they meant to be just as good and kind as possible and when people meant to be good to me, I don't mind very much when they are not quite always :D

Anyway, I think this is a new lesson to keep it in my mind :) 

Gotta go to bed now for I'm gonna celebrate Xmas party tmr at my friend's house hehe

Christmas, I'm indeed happy this year...maybe because he's coming back to Vietnam at the end of this year <3

A dancing heart

4 jours avant Noel

What a beautiful day! The sun still shines and the sky above is still blue x) And today was not doomsday but the very first day of a new Mayan epoch - a brighter one I guess ^^~

My heart is dancing cheerfully for his sake. Well, I'm probably kind of idiot because no matter how many times people make me come to tears or feel painfully, as long as they make sincere apologies :') it's all right and I will forget them all. 

Moreover, I can't deny my eternal flame of love for him at the bottom of my heart...

Actually I have no idea if I would make more mistakes, but I'm trying to live this life with no regrets. Although he may be not the very person before leaving Vietnam, I do hope still there are some old good parts in him because I don't want him to hurt me once more time. 

See, he's still a good person after all ='D 

he is...the only one who is always available when I'm in need, the only one who never supports or gives me too many advice when I'm down for he knows how to make me laugh and forget them instead of getting into my sorrows more deeply, the only one dares to hurt me like hell several times but I still forgive, the only one who makes me happy and I swear I feel like the whole damn world out there is nothing to do with me anymore when I'm with him =] and he is the one that I've been waiting for nearly four years lolz~ sounds great, eh?!

Anyway, we're gonna make it work ='3 and it means a world to me. Then I swear I don't give a damn about whatever has happened through those long and tiring years in tears and pains ='P 

Besides, a relationship between us ain't really necessary any more, as long as we both understand whom we are in each other's hearts. I guess I'm ok with this.

I'm perfectly happy now!

January...please be indefectible for me!

Love,

Hal

Một ngày trước tận thế :))

5 jours avant Noel

1 day until doomsday

Ôi ngày mai tận thế đấy =))))

Biết phải làm như nào nhỉ? Mình còn quá nhiều thứ chưa thực hiện được thì chết kiểu gì cho cam đây?

Mình chưa gặp được người đó, chưa nói được cả người đó bao nhiêu uất ức, bao nhiêu suy nghĩ và bao nhiêu nhớ thương của mình bị dồn chặt suốt mấy năm nay mà.

Ờ mình còn chưa gặp được Chè, Kim, Cin, Kami, Linh cả Austin lần nào mà =)))) Sao chết vô lý thế :)))

Đùa chớ hông có vụ tận thế đâu, mình nghĩ zậy :')

Jun bảo mai qua nhà nó rồi 2 đứa ngồi đợi Tận thế cho "rồ men tịch" =))) Thể loại là sống chết có nhau như kiểu bạn bè thân thiết đó mà, mai muốn play hooky để qua nhà nó nhởn nguyên ngày ghê :') thôi để suy xét!

Hôm nay vừa gửi xong cards và quà cho các tình yêu rồi nhé, chỉ còn có quà của Epig là bị bưu điện từ chối phũ phàng =)))) Nó ăn ở như nào mà để như này, đi đâu bưu điện cũng phũ tàn tệ. 

Vừa mới lượn ngoài đường xong cả Jun về, ôi trời nguyên con đường Lê Thánh Tôn kéo dài xuyên suốt hết đường Thái Nguyên treo đầy đèn đẹp dễ sợ. Đổi màu xanh đỏ hồng vàng đủ thể loại, mấy cái cây bên đường cũng treo đầy đèn đẹp lắm luôn.

Trong khi con nhỏ thì cứ nhảy cẫng lên ngóc mỏ nhìn hết cái này tới cái khác rồi ré "Alas, they're so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee" thì thằng bạn thân nó lại toàn khụt khịt lèm bèm "Sao giống con nít zị, bộ lần đầu tiên thấy đèn xanh đỏ hử?". 

Mà mai tận thế rồi giờ có cần ngồi làm homework hông hay kemenodi, ngồi coi phim "2012"? Nói chung tối nay sẽ tranh thủ nói chuyện với từng người mình yêu quý rồi bảo "I love you" trước khi quá muộn :))

Với cả mình còn chưa đi Paris :( Còn chưa thấy tuyết mà :( Nếu mai tận thế thì trước hết phải đổ tuyết thật dày ở Việt Nam nhé =))))

Thôi nói chung là một ngày trước tận thế nó là như thế. Hy vọng ngày mai mình còn vào viết blog tiếp tục. Hope so :x

Pray đi,

Hal

PS: radio hôm nay tốt trời đang phát luôn tuồn nhạc T-ara nãy giờ =))) chẳng lẽ mai tận thế thiệt :(((((

~~~

10:42 pm

Êh bầu trời đang hồng ửng lên kìa! Dù những ngôi sao vẫn sáng lấp lánh xinh đẹp nhưng bầu trời lại ửng hổng, là sao? =)))

Mình ngồi hóng Doomsday cứ như hóng giao thừa là như nào =)) Cảm giác rất là ó sồm vì nó cứ kiểu háo hức vui vui thế nào đó.

Mình thành tâm cầu nguyện mai sẽ có gì đó khiến chúng ta chết chung thiệt, nếu không có gì thì mình sẽ thất vọng chết được =)))

Buồn cười vật vã :') Doomsday ơi tới mau!!!!

Nói túm lại là 100% mình chẳng tin cái gì là tận thế nhưng mà vẫn thấy buồn cười cực nên đang làm quá nó lên :')


.

My polar star

7 jours avant Noel

3 days until doomsday

It seems to be my annual habit that I tend to watch "Autumn in my heart" in September, "Winter Sonata" in December, "Full house" in February and "Classics" in July.

No matter how many times I watch, my feelings are still the same as the first time and I am under the impression that sort of such old Korean dramas are better and more meaningful, touching to me than new ones.

" You said that Polaris always stays where it is even when other stars move with the season. If other can't forgive you and left you because they don't understand you. I'm staying where I am, right? Can you trust me? " - Lee Min Hyung said to Yoon Jin

Those words do make my heart skip a beat somehow because the way he promised to be her Polaris, always staying in one spot so Yoon Jin may find him whenever she wants to.

...

Would I really have a Polaris for my own to lead me through this ordinary world? 

Should I make a wish on Christmas' Eve this year that my own Polaris would come to my life in this winter?! :) 

I don't know when it comes...but I wish it would be the only star in my sky eternally, the brightest star to shine on my life.

Hopefully my polar star would appear and always stay where it is for me!

And I need you...

.

.

I'm pleading to you, please, I'm pleading to you

To the sky, my prayer goes to the sky

Cheer me up, cheer me up

Please, where are you now

Stars, stars, stars, stars, talk to me

Is it over? Is that it? Answer me, don't just laugh

Stars, stars, stars, stars, I'm pleading to you

Just for once, my love

Let me fly to your side

Love,

Hal

~~~

PS: btw, I'm about to get the Polaris necklace like the picture above :(((( Yoohoo it's super cute, rite? Thanks anh, you're the best one. Dạo này tự nhiên anh tốt cả em quá nên bỗng dưng em có cảm giác là ngày Tận Thế có thật anh ạ =))))

To my little girl :)

8 jours avant Noel

4 days until doomsday

Dear you,

You're probably getting mad at me for not giving you my answers this morning at the test time. To be honest, I'm not here to make excuse for my attitude because even if I'm writing down my thoughts in Vietnamese here, you would never read.

Firstly, I was not sure about my answers either then I didn't dare to share you. Moreover, we both would get zero if we took the same mistakes. Please don't think that I felt no guilt when you handed in a blank paper or in case you need someone to blame, pick me. As long as it's ok for you, I'm Ok with that.

Secondly, I'm keeping a distance from you these days not because I hate you or ditch you. Whatever. Actually I truly wish you to realize that I wouldn't be able to be available 24/7 in order to help you, you need to stand on your two own feet and move on. That's what. 

As a matter of fact I'm willing to help you and let you depend only on me even next years. But do you know what, it's just your poison and it would be killing you little by little. 

What if I'm not here for you anymore? What if no one else really wants to help you as the way I did? What if everything doesn't run well? Have you ever wondered who you are and what you are trying to survive for? 

How can I help those who don't help themselves? While I struggle to make you better, put all my business aside to change your mind, never stop fighting for you....You simply say to me "Whatever will be will be. I don't care." =] 

So what about my effort? What about me? Have you ever thought of people who always worry and care for you?

Due to the fact that you will fall down at once if I let you be so I'm trying to pull you back. However, everything has its limit and I guess I can make it work no longer. 

Let it be. And "whatever" as you always say.

Up to now, my kindness won't be wasted :) Anytime you need me, I'll be right there for you....but if you needn't, I won't be around to disturb you by advice or force. My responsibility has ended.

Anyway, you are still my friend and I love you, little girl! Even though you may understand amiss of me now. 

Complete yourself and CHANGE your mind! As long as you are better, I don't mind if you hate me or something. 

Sorry for not being good and patient enough to deal with you. 

I'm a bad friend, arent' I?

You don't invite my confidence of helping someone who doesn't want to be helped ='p I'm not a saint whose only business is saving and loving mankind.

Again, yes I'm a BAD GIRL :D

Love ya,

Hal

Doomsday????

Dimanche, Decembre 16, 2012

9 jours avant Noel

5 days until doomsday [ Mình nghĩ mình nên đếm ngược chung với Noel cho nó có không khí tận thế =))) ]

Do you believe in doomsday? 

I don't know whether or not it would happen for real because according to Mayan Calendar, it is predicted that the world will end on December 21st, 2012.

Whatever. I'm ok with that.

It's really funny if December 21st, 2012 is just another day. Or maybe it's just the first day of another age, January 01st, 01 *palming face*

It would be greater if doomsday is real due to the fact that we all would fly up to heaven on the wings of angels. 

God would spread His arms to take His daughters and sons back home and lull us into a thousand years of dreams.

Ain't it good?

Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering. 

Human beings are the most selfish animal in the world and rapidly destroying the planet and everything beautiful around. 

Sometimes I reckon it's hard to deal with every single personality and I wanna end this damn world asap =))))

This Christmas season is quite funny! I'm gonna make a to-do-list before doomsday instead of wishlist LOL 

And if I still survive until 23rd, I shall surely write a letter to Santa Claus as annual Xmas and of course  attach a wishlist :')

Praying....

Hal

Beer festival

10 jours avant Noel

There was a big Saigon beer festival tonight on the beach

I took more than two shots of beer =)))

Why did they give me 333 instead of Saigon beer? =)))) Dammit!!! It's too strong for a girl like me. I thought it was Saigon beer at first. yet as soon as I taste, I realized it was exactly 333 =))))

CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY =)))))

Danced with guys

Contemplated Binh Minh on the stage :))) He, imo, is the most handsome man in Vietnam =))))

Spoke Eng n Frcais only w mah friends

Kinda tipsy now

Headache

Je ne sais pas :))

I'm of sound mind yet =)))

Had fun

Many many people in such a crowd

But I do feel alone somehow =)))

I saw firework

...

Sorry for being stupid n silly

Merci for reading these insane stuffs so far ~

Gotta go 2 zZZ

Hangover tmr for sure -.-

OH GOSH!!!!!

Mom's got accident :(

11 days until Xmas

I have no idea how many more times I must weep in this December? 

My mom got a traffic accident this morning and she's ache now. 

Although the injures are fatal, it hurts me each time I heard her say to my dad that she's sick of those injures, she'd rather get up to cook meals as usual than lying in the bed all day and struggling with pains.

She always thinks of my dad and me despite her situation. I don't know why, mom?

Mom, thanks to God's hands this morning, you were saved. I really don't want anything bad to happen to my beloved ppl anymore. And that's why I was too scared to hold my tears this morning.

Last December was my great bane, I'm afraid of loosing anyone else for I don't think I would be strong enough to suffer it again, eps it's you - one of the most important parts in my entire life. 

Please keep safe and stay health!

I love you mom. You gotta be better soon, promise me plz :(

God bless you,

Hal

A full day

12 days until Xmas

What is the most important thing?

Wake up in the morning and realize that God has given you another day to live

Take yourself a day of delight

Make everything work as your schedules

Do your utmost

Be loved by others

Love everybody

Have a serene mind at the end of day

Get a good night's sleep...safe and sound

:)

That's all



If only everyday of my life would always and forever run in that way...

***




"Oh dear Santa, I guess I'm about to write my wishlist tomorrow xD"


Love,

xoxo

Hal

...

13 days until Xmas

Mình sẽ như thế này đến bao giờ?

Chẳng buồn ăn uống

Chẳng buồn nói năng

Chẳng buồn bận tâm suy nghĩ chuyện gì

Đơn giản là cười rồi phát biểu vài câu ngu xuẩn thì người khác sẽ nghĩ rằng mình vẫn ổn.

Có lẽ mình cần có một thời gian được một mình

Tất cả mọi thứ đều một mình

Lúc này thì mình không cần ai đỡ, không cần ai hỏi han xem thế nào hay phải ngồi nghe mình nổi cơn emo tanh bành lên rồi xong chuyện.

Có lẽ cần lủi vào góc nào đó

Khóc cho thỏa thích. Rồi lại tươi cười đứng dậy và xem như chẳng có gì cả.

December hình như năm nào cũng đem lại cho mình cái cảm giác trống trải và lạnh lẽo như thế này.

Vì nó là mùa đông sao?

Mùa đông thì sao?

Mình vẫn ở Việt Nam mà. Thậm chí lại còn chẳng có tuyết, nhiệt độ vẫn cao đều đều như thế.

Nhưng...

Có lẽ mùa đông của mình thì khác.

Hừ...

Mùa đông. Tháng Mười Hai. Cây thông Noel. Đèn. Ánh sáng. 

Sao mọi thứ lại chói lòa như vậy?

Cứ đổ lỗi là do mọi thứ lung linh quá, sáng chói quá nên mắt mình bị mờ đi mất rồi chứ chẳng phải tại nước mắt khiến chúng nhòe đi.

Thôi...

Mình mệt quá! Từ bao giờ mình lại sợ tháng 12 đến vậy? nhưng mình vẫn khăng khăng là mình yêu cái tháng quái gở này, mình vẫn tin tháng 12 thật sự kì diệu, vẫn tin những điều ước sẽ thành sự thật, vẫn tin tuyệt đối vào Santa Claus, vẫn tin....vẫn tin tưởng một cách ngu ngốc dù tất cả những điều khủng khiếp nhất đều chỉ xảy ra vào tháng 12.

Không được khóc nữa.

CHẤM DỨT ĐI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!

******

Tự động cứa vào vết thương lúc nào cũng lở loét đó rồi giờ ngồi khóc than đau. Mình quá ư là ngốc :) 

Anh à, có lẽ cả đời này sẽ chẳng có bất cứ một người con trai nào khác có thể yêu em nhiều như anh đâu, nhỉ?

Ừ, ngày mai mặt trời sẽ lại mọc thôi...

Suicide

14 days until Xmas

There was a man at mom's office jumping down from the 5th floor to commit suicide (?). 

This is the second big case happening there because I still remember another one several years ago, a burglar broke in and stole whole cash stored in a strong box. 

Police caught the burglar after a few weeks and that case is still stuck in my mind although I was still very young in age at that time.

This time is dreadfully terrible to everybody at the office because they are afraid of seeing a ghost in case they want to work late in the evening. 

Even my mom only dares to work until 5 p.m and gets back home asap for she's scared ghosts too. 

She supposes the man was so stupid that he didn't treasure his life while there are a ton of people out there in hospital counting down each day to remain their lives.

Actually nothing is so black and white. 

People do everything for reasons so we can't stand aside and judge others. Besides, police hasn't figured out any idea of reason about this suicide yet. Hence, I don't have the right to gossip about this case.

Aniweiiii, I'm just acutely aware of the fragile boundary between life and death.

I feel something....inside. 

I don't know

But I'm scared.

Letter from Juliet

16 days until Xmas

Dear Claire,

"What" and "if" two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: "What if?"...." what if?"... "what if?"

I don't know how your story ended, but if what you felt then was true love. Then it's never too late. If it's true then...why wouldn't it be true now?You need only the courage to follow your heart.

I don't know what a love like Juliet's feels like...Love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for...but I'd like to believe if I ever were to feel it. I'd have the courage to seize it. 

And Claire, if you didn't...I hope one day that you will!

All my love,

Juliet

This letter from Sophie to Claire always comes home to my bosom each time I read it again. Somehow I opened my old diary today and saw this letter unintentionally, still remember that I copied this letter from the movie "Letter from Juliet" - one of my favorite romantic movies I've ever watched. Always there are good lessons about love and life in those ones that makes me touched to tears :) 

I keep writing those valuable things in my diary in case someday when I open it, sort of the letter would fix me in time. Who knows! Maybe, it gives me a smile like this time.

I reckon I've been stuck in "What if" zone for a long time and I don't wanna stay there any longer, I'm gonna be on the way to make it work for real.

Enjoy my life with no regrets from now on. True love - perhaps it's such a hard thing to find but it's real and I do believe it exists somewhere. 

What if you had a second chance to find true love?

Love,

- Hal

Tu xong :')

17 days until Xmas

Ôi sợ quá thể đi ấy!!!!!!

Hôm nay đang ngồi thiền có một bạn ngồi bên cạnh mình tự dưng đang thiền cái bản ngồi khóc nức nở, xong rồi ngồi lảm nhảm gào lên đủ thứ khiến mình bị nổi da gà.

Mấy thầy bảo bị ám hay dùng bùa ngải kiểu gì éh nên thiền định kiểu này dễ bị phá rồi khó khăn tu tập này nọ.

Chẳng biết nữa, nhưng mình bình thường hông có sợ ma cỏ gì cả. 12h đêm buồn buồn ngồi mở Truyện Ma ra nghe, đi đâu một mình ban đêm cũng hông sợ. Nhưng kiểu dễ sợ như này thì hông thể hông sợ :(

Nguyên tuần đi thiền định kiểu này thấy thanh thản hẳn, trong sạch hẳn ra :') Nghĩ ngợi ít hơn, bớt để bụng, bớt sân si, rồi học được cả hai chữ "thông cảm".

Người khác có xấu xa xấu xí kiểu nào, lúc ngồi thiền thì nên biết "từ bi hỷ xả" blah blah~ Các cụ già bảo mình thiền tốt, ngồi ba tiếng hông nhúc nhích gì, chắc chẳng bị đau lưng hay tê chân nhỉ? trẻ mà? =)))

Nhưng thực sự là có lúc mém ngủ gục, đầu có gục lên gục xuống đó chớ, lưng cũng đau tê chân nhức mỏi toàn thân nhưng chẳng hiểu gì éh tự nhiên kiên nhẫn thấy lạ. Mình thì gì cũng được nhưng dứt khoát không ăn chay được =))))

Thương thầy cả biết ơn thầy quá, 2 tuần nữa thầy bay về Canada :( Thấy thầy kiểu tốt ghê, về đây dậy thiền này nọ mà còn dạy luôn cả nhiều bài học về đối nhân xử thế giữa con người nữa.

Tự dưng thấy muốn làm người tốt hẳn :') dù thật chất mình cũng chẳng tốt lành gì hehe

Thì toàn bị gọi là hồ ly mà, bản chất cũng khoái hồ ly nữa. Nói chung hôm nay tu xong oỳ, mai đi hú. Nào cùng đi với hai bạn Lucy và Isadora mua vòng vèo, đồ lưu niệm blah blah gì đó ngoài chợ Đầm

Qúa chi là tưng mà =))))

PS: Lại bắt đầu thấy một vài bạn có hơi hướm giống mình =)))) thôi kệ muốn sao cũng được, ai giống mình cũng Ok chứ mình thì dứt khoát hem muốn giống ai :)) Nói chung đừng ai ảnh hưởng gì cả mình là được.

Hopefully

18 days until Xmas

Coolahh I can't believe it xD Today was completely beautiful and bright....I swear I could see "La vie en rouge" 

Met a nice Canadian girl named Lucy. She was kinda in harmony with me :') Guess it! It was awesome as I heard that she watched "Pretty Little Liars" and "Vampire Diaries" series just like me =))) my thoughts are so cheap, rite? 

Due to the fact that my friends here in Vietnam only love watching Korean movies and blah blah and they don't care US TV shows like me. Then of course we don't have the same subject abt movies and I must keep my opinion all along *sigh*

My bff is flying back to Vietnam tomorrow and surely he'll be here with me soon aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I can't wait until I throw myself on him, scream out loud "I HATE U" and fill him with a heavy rain of my speechless because I'm talkative as usual ='p

Cherry was very lovelyyyyyyyyy :') I love her so muchhhhhhh although she's crazy sometimes (actually all the time) :*:*:* xD xD Honey, you're one of the most important ppl in my life now =)))) You must be proud of it hahaha just kidding, babe~ Should I gotta thank this blog for bring you back?!!!!

And the last one, my ex bf (?) will come back to Vietnam and stay here for a year. I don't know if I'm happy, yet I've been awaiting him for nearly four years and now when I almost can reach and touch him for real....we're ex?

Actually I don't believe in fate but this case I do. This thing I'd rather keep it for myself than announce anybody else because my friends and even his sister would blame me blah blah that I'm stupid or why my endurance is so high like this or why I still talk to him or he doesn't deserve to get me or if my patience is enough....several questions I bet it.

My feeling now? I have no idea. It's simple happy :') I was under the impression that my effort would be paid back. Promise that I won't regret what I did. 

To love and to wait for him during those tiring years in tears ain't easy but I never say sorry for that. 

Because I do treasure the moments when we were in relationship, appreciate what he taught and was with me when I was in need, love him for I always feel the warmth of his heart no matter how cold his mask show me :')

I'd like to offer him all of the presents that I bought and made him on special days in four bygone years and say to him that I love him and never regret what I've done.

People may reckon that I'm blind or crazy in love, this is me tho. Once I fall in love with someone or something or set someone as one of the most important ppl in my life, it will NEVER be changed. 

Probably I add more things or more people to my list *lol* but my love for my old ones is still the same and endless. No less no more.

I won't stop updating my favorites  coz I'm a modern girl HAHA but it doesn't mean "New one in, old one out".

Nice weekend,

- Hal

Dec 06, 2012

Thầy dậy là phải biết rũ bỏ quá khứ, người mất rồi thì sẽ không sống lại được nữa, nếu như cứ mãi khóc than và đau lòng thì sẽ khiến linh hồn người đó không nỡ đi, không nỡ rời xa, không còn muốn đi siêu thoát nữa. Rồi sẽ cứ mãi vướng mắc ở tràn gian này.

Mình dù có thế nào thì vẫn luôn muốn chứng tỏ với anh là mình ổn, dù tối qua lại nhớ rồi lại khóc thế nhưng ít nhất thì cũng đã một thời gian rất dài mình chẳng còn nhắc đến tên anh nữa.

Có buồn, có đau, có nhớ, có khóc nhiều thế nào thì cũng sẽ chẳng nói ai mà cũng chẳng cần thiết phải nói vì mình biết chẳng ai hiểu :)

.


.

Anh à, trên đời này ngoài ba má em ra thì anh vẫn luôn là người yêu em nhiều nhất từ trước đến giờ :') Cả đời anh đã khổ vì em quá nhiều rồi, em không muốn cả đến lúc chết anh cũng mải quan tâm và lo lắng cho em nữa.

Em hứa với anh là em sẽ khỏe, sẽ ổn, sẽ vui và tuyệt đối không để bất cứ ai thấy em khóc nữa. Anh yên tâm đi anh nhé!

~~~

Sinh nhật bạn tốt bạn thân Epig xD Vừa change relationship cả nó cho gia đình bạn bè họ hàng bản vui mà bản cũng có cảm giác thoát khỏi kiếp FA =)))) Bạn bè mình tự nhiên lôi đầu mình ra skype voice gặng hỏi mãi, bảo sao có bf mới mà dấu diếm đủ điều :))

Nhưng làm gì có bf kiểu nào. Ngồi giải thích mỏi cả miệng :D Dù sao cũng dứt khoát tư tưởng cả ex rồi mà cũng chẳng thấy ex nói năng gì, thôi kệ =)))

Chúc bạn Nhợn điên sinh nhật vui :* mess đã gửi sáng nay, hết FA rồi nhóe :))) bữa nào có bf or gf thì chúng ta cùng change sau vại :') 4 năm chơi thân cả nhau, gặp mặt có 2 lần nhưng vẫn iu quý nhau *ôm ôm*

- Hal

My winter

19 days until Xmas

My Xmas playlist played the song "Merry Christmas, darling" randomly....somehow it hurt me badly then my tears out of nowhere are full of my face.

Last Christmas, I listened to the very song on purpose because he was not able to be here with me during December :) I couldn't predict that was the last winter I was with him.

If he hadn't passed away, maybe my December this year would be in Paris with him. A real white Christmas with the one I love the most in the most romantic city.

But dreams are only dreams, they are like rainbows and only idiots chase them. Now I'm awake.

Still miss the feeling when he hold my hand that tight and said that I was the only sunshine in his winter.

I love him

I pray for him every night that he would have a good life in heaven, that he would be an angel as God's wish, that he would remember who I am.

I dunno why I can't stop crying each time I think of him no matter how excellent I am at pretending before others when I tell about him.

Maybe it's because my promise that I will let nobody see me crying again and I'm on the way to make it work.

And because to him, I'm merely a little princess who is so fragile and sensitive that he has to worry, protect, dry my tears away and make me happy all the time.

Hence, I don't need to hide myself before him and he's the only one :)

We're apart that's true, but I can dream and in my dreams. I'm Christmas-ing with you...I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve "I wish I were with you"...

Christmas in Paris...last year and this year...is there something different?

Had you

Lost you

As your vow, "till death do us part"

Now the only way happened.

Just like a dream...

Love,

- Hal

Mom's sick

20 days until Xmas

My mom is sick now...she's just caught a slight cold because of the weather but I do worry about her. I told myself that I would pray her every night before I went to bed. 

She's been spending whole her life caring and loving my father and me even she sometimes forgets herself to think of us first. 

*sigh* Her health is easily worse than anyone else's in my family for she always keeps three responsibilities in her heart :'(

I guess I wouldn't have enough patience to be a true family woman like her for sure in the future. I love her and feel so happy to have such a wonderful maman like her :*:* 

Hehe Mediation these three days is like Yoga or it's different? I have no idea. 

My soul is getting better and I've learnt the valuable lesson that you can control my emotions and easily calm down in any circumstance as long as you close your eyes and take a deep breath :')

Sounds great, rite?! Although my back, shoulder and legs are ache somewhat by sitting too long for hours, this way really fosters my soul well and builds in me the word PATIENCE.

Finally I could sense the energy in the palm of my hand clearly and see how my electromagnetic energy work. At least my effort within three days doesn't waste. 

I wonder when I would get enough energy to fly off the ground like Songoku? =)))

By the way, today I got the highest grade in my class for the mid-term speaking test ='p I wanna mention it to nobody, yet it's still my pride and I'm keen on keeping this result up next next next time.

Fighting,

Hal

Today

23 days until Xmas

Hôm nay đi dạo con đường Biệt Thự w Joyce thấy mọi thứ bắt đầu lấp lánh rồi, treo đủ đèn các thể loại xanh đỏ tím vàng lung linh mờ ảo (hay do mình hông đeo kính??!)

Hôm qua giờ đã mua quà Xmas xong cho các tình iu xD

Thích cái cảm giác ngồi giữa một đống quà với giấy hoa, ngồi cắt cắt dán dán gói lại, thích cái cảm giác ngồi làm thiệp cho từng người xong oỳ ngồi viết thiệp =]

Hôm nay vừa mới bắt đầu đan thêm một cái khăn choàng cổ khác nữa xD nếu kịp thì sẽ tặng nốt, còn hông thì để năm sau vậy.

Hôm nay bff mình gọi về bảo tuần sau bay về VN hí hí tuần sau Kim cũng bay về luôn xD

Tinh thần là bắt đầu ngày mai sẽ đi ngồi thiền nguyên tuần, mỗi ngày 3 tiếng trong chùa =] Nghe mình nói xong ai cũng bật ngửa. Nhưng đó là cái sự thật. Thôi ráng ih cho đầu óc thanh tịnh :D

Cầu mong sức khỏe tốt, gia đình tốt, bạn bè vui, mọi thứ đều an lành hết...kiểu đang pray cho Giáng Sinh đó mà.

Anw, thanks and luv Cherry for cracking me up and lifting me up lately =))))) Everything is up now :)))

Love,

- Hal

Hello December

24 days until Xmas

he' he' Hello my awesome December =)))

The month that I expect the most in year started with several tragedies today. How brilliant I am!

Somebody stole my new beautiful helmet which had the same colour like my e-bike. I dunno whoever did it but I didn't get pissed off or damn anybody

I'm so much noble-minded. :')

My mom hurled a stream of abuse at me for it and she is still keeping on repeating that "sweet melody" =)))

A motorbike crashed into me, my glass fell down on the street and before I gathered it, another car had come and rolled my glass into thin layers. At that time, all I could do was crying "What the fuck!" =))

It was utterly tragic, rite?! But I smiled even laughed out loud because my life was so funny and dramatic =))) Every morning, when I wake up...I always wonder what would happen today.

The only good luck I met today is while I was waiting for green traffic light, I saw and picked a black HTC phone up off the ground. What the fuck (part 2) =)))

Actually I'm craving for a new cell phone to replace my stolen cell :( But I can't do it =)) exactly I never do it no matter how much my cupidity instigates ny mind =))) Anw, I'm not a saint lolz~

Bye bye cell phone =))) I'm paying back you to your owner soon. See, I'm so much noble-minded again =)))

That's what my first of December ran!

I'm wearing my old glass but it's not my current diop range. Everything is blurry and virtual now. Soooo beautiful =))) I won't dare tell mom the truth, otherwise she'd kill me for sure :') Maybe I should see everything illusory like this for a few days.

Hoang mang va` ao? qua' =))))

Good luck,

- Hal