Celebration the Bodhisattva's Birthday

The April Fool has come not yet, my mom fooled me this morning nevertheless. At 04:30am mom woke me up to go to pagoda with her because I had promised her the previous night.

Mom seduced me into driving her to pagoda and I would need to kneel, bow then stand up (a liturgy) only 108 times for today was Guan Yin Bodhisattva's birthday and that was the way to show your respect to her.

However, reality is always different from theory. Because I had to finish the liturgy by 500 times in fact, plus reciting "Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodhisattva" 500 times as well lolz~ After finishing it for 4 hours, I was sweating like a pig and my head was pounding and kinda of dizzy.

Having got home, I flung myself into bed at once and nearly fainted due to getting so damn exhausted and tired. 108 times she said would be 500 times in fact and I had no energy left to complain her about it. Actually she just wanted the best things for me, but it was too far from my visualization to accept. 

By the way, I guess it should be marked in my guinness record *laugh* 

My thighs are ache like hell and I'm not sure if I mean to join another once more time. More  two celebrations within the year: Guan Yin Bodhisattva's Day and Guan Yin Bodhisattva's Leaving Home Day.

The result is I must cancel a date at Tuấn's house this evening to cook and have beef hot pot as dinner with his parents *sigh* It's such a long time I've not met him huhuhu

No need to complain more as I did to mom the whole day, I bet it's enough :p Just because she wanted the best thing for me. Aniwei, thank mom a lot! 

The last of March, who predicts I will be fooled again the following day?! Yet I assure that I'm not easy to be cheated anymore because as I said, I've lost my faith in people then I'm not a foolish fish for you to catch :')

Nice weekend,

- Hal

Old things

Last night, watching Le Grand Show of Céline Dion brought me strong emotions and made me weird anyhow. Kind of feeling like I've lost something precious: It's time.

Celine Dion, Westlife, Whitney Houston, Capenter, Delta Goodrem, etc. Their music fostered my soul during the stage of my naive childhood and so do they nowadays, even though almost of them are no longer as popular as they used to be.

Although Celine is old enough at the present, her voice is still strong and inspires me heaps. Not only does her music touch my heart but aslo almost my favorite singers in the past make me touched indeed by every single word within a song.

As a matter of fact, I'm an updated girl who knows how to adapt new environment and let nobody suppose that I'm backward. However, the only things which certainly connect to my heart belong to classics.

My appearance is morden but my thoughts are really old but simple and serene. That's why I say I'd chase something new but everything that once I love would never fade through time.

Back to the show, it was obviously amazing and great. Actually I reckon Celine sings in French more beautifully in English even she's good at both. Perhaps she's one of my motives to learn French so far and I'm totally in love with this marvelous language.

Je voudrais freiner pour m'assoir

Trouver au creux de ma mémoire

Des voix de ceux qui m'ont appris

Qu'il n'y a pas de rêve interdit

At the very lovely moment, I can see the peace existing so near to me and I wish I would be able to hold it as long as possibe because I'm sicking of suffer and deal with troubles and people, even the creepier foe: my little vulnerable heart.

Peace, please stay longer...

Hal

Sea glass

It was such a beautiful and sunny day! 

The weather was so damn good despite getting hot a bit, yet it's ok.

These days, I seem to turn back to my childhood hobby: collecting the pieces of sea glass.

The pieces of sea glass are beautiful gifts from the ocean and they are from glass that was deposited into the ocean many years ago and after years of tumbling, finds their way to the shore in spectacular forms.

People say "Sea glass was said to be Mermaid Tears. She said she usually cried at least once a day not because she was sad, but the world was so beautiful and life was so short."

Today, I spent my entire morning on the beach to search sea glass and somehow the flood of memories washed through me again. I kind of missed those old days, though I surely couldn't hold anything at all.

Unfortunately, I could only find out sea glass in aqua blue and white, while my expectation was more colorful ones, especially blue.

Only white and aqua blue are good enough because they looks quite pretty for me to make jewels on my own. In fact, I love making hand-made stuffs although I'm not really good at it.

Sounds childish hak? At least, the return of my hobby is helping me out of the crises of feeling and I'm greatly obliged for the sea which means heaps and brings to me happiness no matter how much I've grown up.

Should I say out loud that I love Vietnam just because Vietnam has Nha Trang beach?! To me, this is the most beautiful beach in the world and I'm so proud of taking it as my hometown.

Hallie means "Thinking of the sea" in Greek, I've got this English name so far in order to remind me wherever I go, "the sea" here is always and forever in Nha Trang, the lovely and peaceful city with "sky blue" beach.

Love it and love the meaning of my name, too.

~ We belong to the sea

To the waves you and me

Living in the ocean so blue

We belong to the sea

Open wide, being free

A minute lasting forever with you ~

Quiet

Today I've found out an awful and ugly truth which has changed the whole me. None of strength or enegry exist inside me any longer.

This morning, I broke into tears and kept sobbing for hours until my eyes got dry. Nobody could tell me what to do to get out of this, I bet, because I'm even torturing myself and wrapped by every brutal mental pain.

Since then, I've been getting silent so far as if I were dumb and lost the ability of communicating. Actually I don't want to call my friends and answer sorts of questions like "What's wrong?" "Something wrong?" "Are you Ok?" "What happened?" "Don't worry, it's gonna be all right" "Tomorrow is another day", etc. 

After those, everything is still the same and they helps me nothing but good supports, strength, mental gifts deep down from their hearts. I do appreciate them. But what I really need at the moment is not simply words or a person.

I used to be the one who would bounce back from disappointment and stand again on my own feet no matter what. Howerver this time, I indeed have no idea how to lead myself out of the long dark tunnel in order to enjoy the light out there.

I'm scared...I really am each time I feel like I'm a souless animal named "human" on the Earth only struggling to survive, not live.

Gosh, I'm tired. You know, it's impossible to set all of my lines by such an unfair rule like this. 

Sorry for sinking myself that down. My best friends and parents must have got anxious about me heaps, yet I've still kept dumb, spending my time in quiet and thinking of nothing.

At least, this blog is the only place I could talk right now. Promise that I shall recover this as soon as possible and hit back to the old me. 

Need time. And. Leave me alone.

Bless me,

Hal

March 23rd

Dạo này mình dễ bị kích động ghê luôn, ai đụng vào cái là tự dưng thấy muốn cáu và có vài nạn nhân thân yêu bị mình nạt vô cớ.

Thật ra thì chắc mình tới thời kì bị cái gọi là mood swing rồi íh  >.<

Hông biết sao nữa nhưng mình cứ như bị cái gì ấy, cái này có thuốc chữa trị hông nhỉ  :'( Sao lo lo quá bây.

Dạo này cứ tưởng học đàn thì sẽ thư giãn hơn, hóa ra căng thẳng chết người. Ngồi tập mà nghe soeur mắng bé kia nghe cũng sợ lắm :-s 

Mấy ngay cứ tập ngón Đồ Rê Mi Fa Son tới lui hoặc đàn mấy bài trẻ con ngán ơi là ngán nên đùng cái mình nhảy luôn sang bài "Hymne A La Joie" của Bethoveen. 

Bài này do là mình nghe rồi nên biết nhạc mà đánh được vèo vèo, nhưng kiểu nhảy cóc như này cũng hông hay ho gì :( Nhưng Đồ Rê Mi Fa Son hoài nghe riết nó buồn buồn =))) 

Mình thèm được đi xem phim quá nhưng bây giờ thì tới 20 ngàn trong túi mình cũng không còn nữa là. Xuống dốc thảm hại như này vậy.

Ôi mệt quá mình hông muốn học mấy cái môn "Thực hành văn bản tiếng Việt" hay "Cơ sở văn hóa Việt Nam" là lá la gì gì đó. Đọc cái tên lên nghe muốn ngủ luôn rồi đừng nói nuốt gì nổi :(( 

Đại loại là mình bấn loạn quá thể rồi nên viết kiểu gì cũng loạn.

Thôi ăn ốc bươu đây với ba má đây. Hôm qua vừa hô thèm thèm cái là hôm nay má hiểu ý mua nguyên một nồi to thù lù. Đã. Ít nhất thì cũng có được mấy thứ như này gọi là hạnh phúc, ráng ráng. 

Biết là khó chịu rồi nhưng cũng ráng chịu khó thôi. Châu Âu thân yêu, tuyết xinh đẹp, lạnh lẽo chết người dễ thương =)))) Đợi bé Hallie nhé :')

Thôi ăn lẹ, lát nữa bé sẽ tham gia "Giờ Trái Đất" cùng thế giới thoai :') Tự hứa với bản thân bao giờ sang nước ngoài rồi, tất cả các hoạt động xã hội mình sẽ tình nguyện tham gia càng nhiều càng tốt :x Thích lắm thích lắm :') Nhưng ở đây thì xin lỗi em không có hứng và nhiệt huyết để làm gì ngoài làm biếng =)))

Yêu,

Hal

Study or Funny?

I swear I just wish to come to Swiss asap because I can't stand any more second here, stucked with the fucking damn education system.

So patently do I acknowledge that Western World would be a road strewn with pitfalls and if I want to survive there, there are a bunch of troubles and obstacles I must learn how to deal with it, fighting in the last ditch and keep my feet no matter what.

Dear Lord, I swear...

I'd rather pitch in books over fifteen hours per day to study than do something called "ridiculous homework" like this.

I'd rather be educated by strict professors than have no right to speak to teachers here due to the fact that "Teachers are always correct, don't try to fix them. Otherwises, your marks would be down for the whole term because of this flaws."

I'd rather be surrounded by a rush environment that I always have to keep pace up with others and attempt to learn and listen to many different ideas from others than be stared as if I were a weirdo because I raise my hand heaps while they are totally quiet at class.

I'd rather be at the bottom of a good school than keep head of a mediocre one.

I'd rather stand at an average spot than win a victory that I'm even not proud of.

I'd rather be born in a tough way to get stronger and adapt so that one day I won't have to regret for whatever I've been through than be covered by little good and happy box which causes me to get under the illusion that I'm the best while I'm just a big zero in fact.

I'd rather work with people who are in want of studying than deal with people who only want to depend on the best one and get the marks that they don't even deserve. In fact, I despie nobody but those who never intend to study as much as their abilities could be and just blame everything for circumstances and reasons and explanations. I do hate it.

I worry my descendants would be doomed to repeart this way. Yup, I'm afraid of letting them suffer everything this way - the terrible one that I'm routintely tortured by my so-clear-and-bright head.

If only my head were clouded by this dark system sooner, I'd have been willing to accept it as my fate without complains or bitter words like these.

Unfortunately, I'm not that kind of person. My sky is absolutely somewhere not this place :) 

Sorry, I don't put myself at the mercy of something called "destiny". My ambition is powerful enough to swallow myself and the attitude of loving the destiny that God granted me seems to be the greatest lie I've ever told. 

Because the monster of rage inside me is growing more each day...

Because I do treasure this diary and I want to be perfectly honest here...

Because I don't want to lie about my feelings for the real life I'm facing...

Because I'm dying to land in Swiss...

I know that the climate is extremely harsh (hardly higher than 0*) and everything is not what it seems. Whatever happens, I swear I would stand firmly and fight 'till the end as long as it's worth...

You were right, James! Good things are worth waiting for. 

I'm waiting...the very big day of my life, the lovely moment when I would be able to get out all of them :')

Sorry for going ballistic that much =))) I'm precisely over my head and losing my control to hold these fucking bitter words lolz~

Nice weekend,

Hal

PS: Maman, Papa...if you both understand all of these thoughts and what your little daughter has been suffering, it would hurt your feelings and you would blame on yourself for everything. That's why I never want to let you know, just please taking my day-by-day smiles for granted that I'm still happy and contend with the life you've arranged :) Thanks for having me, it's the best thing and you shouldn't feel guitly about anything. You both are always the best ones in my heart, I promise.

New me

I have found out myself that I am slightly in anti-social mood these days anyhow. Of course, it's not because I'm falling into something wrong or just senstive again.

And being busy is not really a good excuse to answer for your questions: why I have not replied all the messages or mails, I am even not available on facebook anymore.

To be honest, I just want to be alone for a while and consider what kind of people I am supposed to be so that I would be secure and stay myself away from troubles out of sudden.

I've changed indeed. Although it's not complete, I believe all of this change is becoming another strong and solid shell covering me - my weak-and-emotional self.

No matter how long I could wear this strong and cold-blooded mask; though I am, deep down inside, still this fragile and pitiful girl with a very sensitive heart like others.

But the point is I shall let no one on the Earth see me cry again. Cross of my heart! :)

No more tears. No more pains. No more scars. No more complains. No more happiness. No more troubles. No more love.

I'm totally free and I love this way :))

.

.

Có lẽ mình thích người ta bảo mình đáng sợ hơn là đáng thương.

Có lẽ mình thích người khác tự cảm thấy tội lỗi vì đã làm tổn thương mình hơn là thấy mình tội nghiệp.

Có lẽ mình thích trở nên mạnh mẽ và độc lập để người khác không thể cười chê, hơn là một con người yếu đuối nhạy cảm và luôn cần dựa vào người khác mới khá lên được.

Mình cần phải khác. Mình cần giết chết con người nhu nhược hèn yếu đáng thương kia. Nên hông nên hông?! =))) Nên chứ?

Mình quá ngu ngốc và điên khùng khi tự tạo nên một cái địa ngục và tự động dìm mình vào quá sâu như vậy. Từ giờ thì phải khác, nhất định phải khác, Hallie phải khác :)

Nếu muốn luôn luôn ổn thì bản thân phải thật mạnh mẽ và giữ một tinh thần bằng thép, một trái tim lạnh như băng và một cái dầu thật bình tĩnh trong mọi hoàn cảnh.

Tâm phải lặng như nước thì bình yên mới đến.

Mình hết tự kỉ, hết than phiền hay cảm xúc vô biên rồi. Bây giờ thì mình sẽ tập thích nghi trong mọi hoàn cảnh. Cố lên Hallie :D

Two sides

As Hamlet said to Ophelia, "God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. The battle between these two halves of identity: who we are and who we pretend to be, is unwinable."

Just there are two sides to every story and to every person. One that we reveal to the world and another we keep inside. A duality governed by the balance of light and darkness. 

Within each of us is the capacity for both good and evil. 

But those who are able to blur the moral dividing line hold the true power...

Piano and the first time

Dear Joanna,

Thanks to your coming into my life, it's watered my barren soul :) I've truly fallen in love with you for years since I was just a little girl around him to see how hard he'd deal with you.

Your existence to me is not something new. Though the feeling of a listener is completely different from the wonderful sense of a pianist.

There are so many things called "the first time" about you that I  never ever recognized as I was simply a listener.

The first time I've just been under the impression that my fingers are not mine anymore

The first time I've learned how to control myself

The first time I've been being so bloody patient with something that much. I'd cry for getting too tired to deal with you because my fingers were ache like hell and no matter how hard I tried, it didn't work.

The first time I've known you at the other side of your beauty :) non-stop struggles.

The first time I've been doing something around at church in spite of a Catholic :)) I'm a Buddhist.

The first time soeur taught me this lesson " Learning piano reflects how you cope up with life. If you can't overcome this struggle, you'd never be able to do it with others. Life is as hard and tough as learning piano, don't give up and keep your patience..your efforts here will be rewarded someday."

The first time my personality has been hold, stayed calm and got soft.

The first time I could see the haven of peace and serenity for real away from the bustle of life out there.

The first time I've seen white so clearly like this

The first time my rage seems to be under my control. Yup, piano is like life, if I let the angry monster inside me grow, it'd burn and destroy everything. 

Of course, it's impossible for me to afford an upright piano at home to practise, though I'll be patient to learn it at church as many weekdays as possible. 

Even though I don't dabble, I'm not gonna become a pianist either lolz~ I just follow where my heart leads me to and I reckon this is the right thing, eh?!

Well, I'm neither a rich lady nor a princess to think of something so luxurious like this. The point is I just thirst to complete myself. That's all.

By the way, Joanna is a slang word to call "piano". In my opinon, if we name something, we'd treat and love it like a human and naturally what comes from the heart goes to the heart.

hallielujah~

Chéri, I miss the sight of your back when you were seated at the piano, playing me the instrument "Romance"...

R.I.P friend

A friend commited suicide a few days ago. I can't figure out the real reason because I'm not close enough to her. Though I was kinda shocked by what she did.

I gotta say it's not less than ten times I've thought of the same idea in my mind because of holding a very deep hatred of life which never seems to look nice a bit for me so far. 

It took the person I love the most, stole my dream and passion, killed the last chance of living for myself.

What should I do?

Yet I couldn't do it in the end :)) I must fight and suffer it every single day. Once I was born and sent to the Earth, I owe my parents this life and a responsibility to carry it on no matter what. My life is what my thoughts make it, think white and bright it would be.

Sometimes I feel shame for the sake of the fucking stupid thought and my weakness.

Anyway, I've turned over a new leaf at the present. To make it better, I found myself getting stronger than ever with a frozen heart. Kinda sounds as cold as ice, eh?! Nobody else in this world could hurt me again because I won't trust anyone but myself. 

It ain't good to others but as long as I'm safe, I don't care what the hell people would think about me. Actually I prefer this new one with bright thoughts and great belief of magic :')

Speaking for the friend, blaming her is useless for she would not able to listen or take one more chance to redo her life again. 

The only last thing I may do is praying for her to rest in peace somewhere in heaven.

Adieu,

Hal

Thứ năm, ngày 14, tháng 3

Mấy nay bé lappie Leila bị hỏng, mạng mẽo lại hông có nên phải xa rời bé nó hết gần cả tuần lễ. Leila sau khi được bạn Hải sửa dùm thì giờ toàn bộ nhạc cả hình ảnh cả nhật kí đều biến mất sạch sẽ không vết tích.

Tiếc nẫu ruột muốn khóc thét đi được, nhưng biết sao bây giờ. Bao nhiêu năm trời mới được nhiêu đó mà giờ mất cả. Thôi cứ nhắm mắt gật đầu xem như là tới lúc xóa sạch sẽ quá khứ để sống cho hiện tại và tương lai.

Nhật kí của mình phải nói là đầy nước mắt và những ngày vật vã tang thương đủ thứ thể loại. Cơ mà giờ qua cả rồi, có mà muốn lật lại xem cũng mất cả nên thôi đừng nghĩ ngợi hay sống trong hoài niệm nữa. Thế là xong nhé.

Gần đây mình hơi bị tham lam, học nhiều thứ quá. Hiện tại là đang học piano, học bơi, học Spanish, học French và đang muốn học nhảy quá nhưng lịch full hết rồi; mình còn chẳng có thời gian ngủ đủ giấc nữa cơ.

Piano học thích lắm cơ :x dù hôm nào học xong về tay cũng mỏi nhừ cả đau, rất là dễ mất kiên nhẫn cơ mà soeur chỉ tận tình lắm cả kiểu vẫn thích. Bây giờ thì đã đàn được hoàn chỉnh bài "Con bướm vàng" rồi é :)) 10 ngón tay bây giờ phải gọi là nó cũng biết nghe lời được một xí.

Chuyện học hành trên lớp mình vẫn tốt. Học kì rồi mình xếp thứ 3 trong lớp í, chắc có học bổng =)) để ôm tiền hè vào SG chơi. Cơ mà như này, mình thật sự rất lo hk2 này hông được thế nữa vì nhìu môn Vietnamese quá :(( 

Kiểu gì mà sợ quá mấy thứ văn vẻ, lâu rồi mình hông viết. Giờ viết thì kiểu câu cú, từ ngữ xài linh tinh loạn xạ cả lên. Biết làm như nào giờ. Sao tự nhiên lại sợ điểm bị sụt xuống vì mấy môn như này này :'( 

Mình thèm làm toán hơn. Nhớ cái máy tính, nhớ ngồi thức đêm giải toán kinh tế cả một xấp giấy dày, nhớ kiểu ngồi xem công thức, nhớ kiểu chỉ vì phân số với số thập phân mà thi hông đc 10đ nên bị tiếc nuối, nhớ kiểu ngồi chửi rủa bản thân tơi tả vì ngu quá giải mãi một bài hông xong :(( nhớ micro macro. Nhớ mấy hôm ngồi chung cả đám cùng ngồi giải toán cả ngày, tới trưa ăn xong lại cùng bay lên lab ngồi giải toán tiếp tới tối mịt mới về. Học siêng kinh khủng nhưng kiểu rất vui :( Nhớ mọi người quá íh .

Thôi kiểu mình lại bị overwhelmed nữa rồi, nhưng hông biết lớp mới do ít con trai quá nên mình cũng kém vui. Mình kiểu chơi rất hợp với con trai, do tụi nó vui và có nhìu thứ nữa.

Lớp mới thì ngoài đám mình chơi ra thì kiểu gì mình cũng hông thích lắm. Chả biết mình có làm gì đâu cơ chứ, học hành cũng có giỏi giang gì mà mình rất được cái bạn khác "quan tâm" đặc biệt. Thể loại là mình chẳng bao giờ cần xem điểm vì rất nhiều bạn "xem dùm" mình :') Gì cũng xem thử Hallie bao nhiêu điểm để so sánh, mình thật sự thấy bị áp lực ấy. Rồi kiểu bình thường chả chơi gì mình, đến lúc đi thi thì ai cũng biết tên mình trong khi mình lại chẳng biết ai =)) Thấy cứ như nào ấy, hông biết nói sao nữa.

Thôi kệ sao cũng được. Bây giờ mình rất là dễ tính dễ chịu dễ thương với nhân loại mà. Hông sao hông sao mà.

Nói qua nói lại là lâu rồi mới được viết lại blog nên viết nhiều như này. Diary thì xem như đi tong, chắc mình tập viết tay lại quá để lỡ có gì khỏi bị mất cả như này :( Bực bội buồn ghê.

International Women's day '13

It's such a beautiful day ^^~

To be perfectly honest, I didn't expect anything yesterday. But I was very astonished to get many best-wish messages and flowers from my beloved people.

Alas, I'm so damn happy and feeling exactly my feet be ten feet off the ground. I'm flying lah lah ~ 

Bro.James offered me a white-rose basket, a red-rose branch from papa :x and another flower basket from a buddy I've just known for a week. 

Touché touché...

No matter where I am, my beloved brothers and buddies still concern and love me :') That warms my heart up and makes my day.

By the way, today I pulled out my old ring and chain from the trunk to wear them on :x 

The ring was my International-Women's-Day-2003 present that I demanded Ralph although my finger was too small to fix at that time. 

However, it fixes my finger like a glove after many years and I've decided to  put the ring on my finger :) Somewhere in heaven, I guess he would be smiling at me about this, right?

The chain was one of a double unique double chains: one for me and another for my best-childhood friend. It looks kinda childish but yup, it symbolizes our long-term friendship so far and I do treasure it.

Suddenly I just want to make my day more special by pulling out my precious memories out of the old box to clean them up before dropping them in the dark while they don't deserve to be treated like that.

All in all, I'm gonna become a good lady up to now to fix what my beloved men did for me today and treat me as a real lady at least one day :') not like a kid within 364 other days /:)

Merci beaucoup à tous!

Love

xoxo

Hal

030713

Last night I stayed up around three because of contemplating over the trip to Paris at the end of next year and kinda felt disappointed somehow. My trip to French next year has been put off indefinitely!

However, I'm still in a great jubilant mood after pull my best friend out of a serious dark hole and I reckon it's worth my sacrifice.

A friend indeed is a friend in need. Hence, I'm glad to help her out by my precious Paris box :*:* I love my best friends. I do and I'm willing to do anything to make my beloved people happy even though I may forget myself on and off.

As long as she's able to undergo this storm easily, it doesn't matter to me as my ultimate choice was my friend, not myself. 

If Ralph had been alive, he would have advised me to do so :) I'll definitely come to Paris someday, I have to fulfill the dream asap although it would be later a bit.

By the way, maman is coming to Dalat tomorrow 'till Sunday morning and I'm about to be a good "young-woman". Cooking, doing the housework and blah blah 

Hopefully I won't break dishes, get burnt or cut my finger while slicing something *lolz* When I was in HCMC, I'd "finish" three of them and even break enough a glass, a bowl and plate :')

I'm very clumsy and silly :') I see. That's why my mom is afraid of letting me touch anything at home. For this time, I'll try to keep everything safe and sound during the time maman is invisible at home so that papa can't complain about me.

Wish me luck within a double days upcoming without maman. Tmr is International Women's Day, let's prove my ability yeah yeah~

Thứ tư, ngày 06 tháng 03

Có hơi hướm cảm sơ sơ rồi. Bệnh viện kiểu gì thì cũng khiến mình thấy oải oải ghê, ra vô thấy mấy cảnh tượng khiến mình thấy sống chết nó gần kiểu như gang tấc íh.

Mốt má đi Đà Lạt rồi nhưng mình hông đi. Ở nhà lo cho cô Thuận :'( Hình như mai lại làm xét nghiệm gì thêm íh. Bệnh kiểu gì mà lúc nào cũng cười, cũng đùa giỡn tươi tỉnh được hay thật :)) 

Hình như nhà mình có gene lạc quan hay sao íh =)))

Chiều nay mình cứ như cái con dở người. Tối qua cứ là ngồi chỉnh tới chỉnh lui thời khóa biểu, thêm bớt lý sự đủ chuyện xong cuối cùng hôm nay đi học nhầm tiết. 

Lúc mình tới nơi thì các bạn chuẩn bị đi về, xong bị gv trêu kiểu mặt rất hình sự "Hôm nay dám trốn học tiết tôi cô nhé, trốn đi chơi với bạn trai phải không?" =)))) Mình kiểu mặt lúc đó rất đần nên chẳng biết trả lời như nào luôn.

Đầu óc mình cứ là thường xuyên ở đâu đâu, đoảng ơi là đoảng chẳng bao giờ thấy khá lên nổi íh. Dạo này cứ loạng choạng như nào íh chẳng biết nữa. 

Bạn mình bên USA đang có chuyện. Chắc dẹp luôn cả chuyện Paris box và cái giấc mơ đi Pháp năm sau của mình vậy, nếu mình không xoay được cả nhờ vả được cho nó. Thôi hi sinh. 

Baby đừng lo nữa nhé cưng :x :* Tiền bạc chỉ là cái hàng rào thôi, chẳng có gì đâu cưng à :*:* Mạnh mẽ lên, ta lo cho nàng xong rồi :') Iu iu.

Sắp tới sẽ học tiếng Tây Ban Nha nữa. Một bạn bản xứ bảo sẽ dạy cho mình :x Hông định ham hố nhưng kiểu thuận lợi quá nên hông muốn bỏ qua. Thật ra nếu là tiếng Ý thì mình sẽ thích hơn.

Merde sáng nay xem lại trận tối qua chỉ muốn chửi thề >.< fan MU chân chính như mình xem không nóng máu cũng uổng. May mà không xem trực tiếp ko thì chắc cũng ném bể cái TV :)) 

Má cấm mình xem đá banh cũng đúng. Mình là đứa cực kì dễ bị kích động và rất khó kiềm ném các thể loại :') Mà lâu rồi không xem cùng Epig cả Tuvi cả Anakin. Nhớ các chồng quá, nhớ cái gia đình Sater của chúng ta :((

Dạo này nhiều chuyện quá. Mình thèm ngồi nói chuyện cả bé Chip cơ mà chắc nó cũng đang điên đảo, Canada sắp nuốt chửng con bé rồi. Thấy nó kể không mình cũng thấy hoảng. Thương thế!

Thôi hôm nay mệt. Giờ chắc đi ngủ. 

Fear of loss

Last night, my aunt was brought to hospital to make a surgery because of a heart attack. Due to the fact that she's an old spinster with no husband and children, so the responsibilities of custodial aunt belong to such a niece like me.

Although she always complains and scolds me about everything all the time, I'm sure that she only wants the best things to us - her beloved nieces and nephews.

All of her life is dedicated to charity funds and social organizations. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn't wanna get married and take an ordinary life as others :'( 

Looking her so lonesome in such circumstances like these, my heart sinks and is full with fear of loss. I'm really scared each time I heard that my beloved people are in danger because I don't wanna lose anyone else.

In fact, I used to be available as my English teacher was being buried. I nearly felt faint for crying so much that others thought I was her close relative while I was just her three-month student. 

I really hate hospital as each time I set my foot in, there is something from my memory reminding and I'd be wrapped by fright and madness. 

Well, I'd lose my bf in his sickbed at a hospital in French. Since his death, I've lost my soul and the meaning of life up to this time and it always scares my hell out each time I think of losing someone else, eps my beloved parents - the last reasons for me to carry this fucking life.

God, please save her and let her stay with us longer. I'm praying her heart would get better soon because I love her as my godmother. Don't do it again as the way you took him from me, God.

Why do good people always have to meet bad luck in life? Dear Lod, what would you think when you create this world?

Bless her,

Hal

Adaptation

What I've been studying so far in this fucking crazy school like merde is completely wrong :) 

Although I'm learning how to accept and deal with it in a very hard way from time to time, sometimes I'm incapable of deluding myself into believing that I'll work without my passion and my dreams since childhood has gone up in puff of smoke.

I dunno when it'll pass and leave me alone to fulfill my real dream. Even if I must start over from zero, I would sooner take a risk than live the rest of my life with great regrets.

Still keeping smiles to conceal my dreadful grieves doesn't sound like me in the past. Yet people change, I'm not an exception.

The less you know the better!

You can't force a lion being caught to feel happy like a lion that was born and trained in zoo :)) One's got used to with freedom life and another only knows how to be like a toy from an early age in the cage.

I'm the first lion and I NEVER EVER accept it as a part of my life no matter how many longer it takes. 

However, I'm not here to blame on anyone because once I did on account of my beloved people, I'd eat humble pie without complaining. 

Anyway, I'm about to attempt to adapt this fucking dirty environment and become a bright and precious waterlily in mud lolz~ 

By the way, I'm not interested in being an entertainment animal in the cage. I was not born in that way :D Deal. Hallie is going to turn this ugly thing into a beautiful mess. Who am I? supergirl Hallie :))

Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.

First rule of Bill Gate: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Fighting babe :') Your time will definitely come...sooner or later. *rubbing my hair* Woot woot x)

Love,

Hal

Wanna b in Dalat

Coolah! I've got the wifi work again after a-few-day-like-year lolz~

This night feels more like midsummer and the hot air infuses me with sudden hope: Taking a trip to Dalat with my mom's department on the occasion of International Women's Day upcoming. 

Hopefully I shall be one of her stuffs to pack there because she seems to leave me behind in order to concentrate on my study blah blah blah

How to convince her while she worries that I'd skip almost a week at school? I promise I'd be able to keep pace up with others even if I skip more than that. Although I believe in myself, she doesn't.

Gr gr...it's hot like hell here so badly that I'd love to get outta town within a few days to change of air asap :'( Gosh, I cut hair a double days ago. Short enough to welcome more wind from my back of the neck but it ain't less hot.

Maman, please take it for granted that I am just 24 kilograms to your luggage, right?! huhu 

To Jun: Đã nhận được đồ từ má Linh, đồ đệp cơ mà xao hôg có gấu :'(  Anw, thanks và iu m nhìu xD Hôm nay má làm bạch tuộc món m thích nhóe :') Nguyên sắp bay về, hè đó về được thì đoàn tụ đi nhoa nhoa :*:*