Quiet

Today I've found out an awful and ugly truth which has changed the whole me. None of strength or enegry exist inside me any longer.

This morning, I broke into tears and kept sobbing for hours until my eyes got dry. Nobody could tell me what to do to get out of this, I bet, because I'm even torturing myself and wrapped by every brutal mental pain.

Since then, I've been getting silent so far as if I were dumb and lost the ability of communicating. Actually I don't want to call my friends and answer sorts of questions like "What's wrong?" "Something wrong?" "Are you Ok?" "What happened?" "Don't worry, it's gonna be all right" "Tomorrow is another day", etc. 

After those, everything is still the same and they helps me nothing but good supports, strength, mental gifts deep down from their hearts. I do appreciate them. But what I really need at the moment is not simply words or a person.

I used to be the one who would bounce back from disappointment and stand again on my own feet no matter what. Howerver this time, I indeed have no idea how to lead myself out of the long dark tunnel in order to enjoy the light out there.

I'm scared...I really am each time I feel like I'm a souless animal named "human" on the Earth only struggling to survive, not live.

Gosh, I'm tired. You know, it's impossible to set all of my lines by such an unfair rule like this. 

Sorry for sinking myself that down. My best friends and parents must have got anxious about me heaps, yet I've still kept dumb, spending my time in quiet and thinking of nothing.

At least, this blog is the only place I could talk right now. Promise that I shall recover this as soon as possible and hit back to the old me. 

Need time. And. Leave me alone.

Bless me,

Hal