Complicated

as a matter of fact that i've been fed up with seeing him with other girls and pretending like i don't care about it. yes, i told him that i didn't care indeed but does he really think that i'm all right with everything he does with girls?

well, we're simply nothing in fact and no relationship between us makes him or me have any tie or responsibility with each other. it's just about paranoid love and more than that, it should be a little secret.

so pissed off and upset. i dunno why he'd love to tease me all the time like this although he definitely gets that i don't like it. i do envy with girls that he's with whomever those are. am i so childish that he couldn't bear stopping his jokes on me?

complicated.

i'm a girl no matter how much i do my utmost to control myself, it's too hard to accept it as usual. in reality, i've got loads of guys called friends to hang out, to get close and even hug them as my beloved people. ok, it's not fair to give me the right to do it while he doesn't.

but i'm still selfish and not sure if those damn relationships are as pure as mine *shaking head*...because i do care. heaps of times, i wonder if i could ever trust him again, i have no idea about this matter. whatever. i must stay and never wanna leave because i love him.

sometime we must make it clear at any rate. soon. i think so.

love,

- Hal