I miss him

talking to ss zenny for a while, yup and the major is forever about him. anyhow i miss him so much and am dying to text him something with his available id at once, yet i could control myself to ignore and let my heart in peace again.

she told me that he would fly back to Vietnam next year for a period of time before returning to US again. i have no idea why my heart suddenly skipped a beat and my head was a mess with thoughts. 

actually he's in Vietnam now but i can get the idea that wherever he is, i'm not the one he wants to me et the most :) i'm simply the final thing in his long to-do list in fact.

admit it, i'm still loving him no matter what happens. but i won't let him know anymore, just ask his situation from ss zenny and if there is something wrong with him, i'm willing to be the one to do everything for him. well, he doesn't know and surely doesn't care, either. 

just need him to understand the fact that even all the world turn their backs on him, i'm the last one beside him in the end i swear.

am i blind? before now, no one really makes me so hurt like this that heaps of time i just wanna scold and curse very ruthless to relieve myself somewhat. but i might not because i fucking love him. although i'm hurt, it's ok to carry on bleeding my heart with ignorance him :) 

i've stopped talking to him. trust me, i've even got more painful than anyone else in this case and he must have felt nothing about this :)) 

anyway i do believe in fate causing that how we met and if i still owe him heavily, of course we would come back soon. likely i'm getting in debt to him this love, pain, tears, long wait, years and times, scars and happiness :D

let it be! i've done my turn, now it's up to his...if he doesn't save it, i shall let it go for real which means that he ain't my destiny.

it's time to be a big girl and big girls don't cry!

if only i let him know this blog, if only he could read my writing, if only he understood my thoughts more than that, if only he knew how much i love and care for him...if only he got that i was not that sorta girl he always sees  :D

whatever. he has no idea or he doesn't care. i should let him in piece by my dead silence as long as possible, just need to know that he's fine. it's good enough for me.

somehow i know i will find a way

to a brighter day in the sun

somewhere i know that he waits for me

someday soon he'll see i'm the one

'cause i still believe in destiny

that you and i were meant to be

em nhớ anh quá, gấu mặp à!

- Hal