Waking up with a ton of comments and inbox messages on FB on the purpose of cheering me up and encouraging after the case previous day, I was astonished and speechless for not getting what was going on with all of those lovely and kind people, regardless of the fact that they were merely semi-strangers to me.
They indeed made my day and moved me by the way they cared for me :') I do appreciate what they have done so far. It means a world to me!
Monday always should start in a gloomy mood since there are days ahead going to school and attending endless tedious periods. However, those people made my time more meaningful and helped me realize that life was still very nice and worth fighting even in the worst condition.
Nothing special today, rather than a few application forms that I'm filling in hopes of... Well, I'm sick of discussing this matter here, particularly I had a severe quarrel with my parents this evening regarding variety of issues involved my future.
Why did they give me the birth but never understand the child? Even Sifu reads through me much more than my parents do. He constantly encourages and teaches me a shedload of lessons, of course talks to me a lot when I'm in need. That's why I often consult him on significant problems, not my parents.
Well, he harshly rebuked me for fighting with my parents due to the fact that I must respect and love my parents no matter what they might told me, even in a wrong way, I also should keep silence, obey and love them as usual sine they are the most important people to me. I surely got that completely but it's like...if only they could try to spare a little time listening to their child and learning the truth that we are living in different generations with dissimilar ways of life. Instead of pulling my life back to the previous eras, why could they possibly just accept the way I am and support me like my friends do? Even though I may fail, I shan't regret giving myself a chance and taking the failure for granted that I have just experienced something new.
I cannot live this life so cautiously that I withdraw into myself and never reach out to the world outside. Is this my life? Or my parents' life? Should I be selfish just for once or follow the statement that I said "living for your beloved people is as much happy as living for yourself"?
Alas, I dunno! I dunno anything and I don't wanna think again. I'm dreadfully tired...What should I do? Tell me...Living for my parents' sake means that I must give up on my dream and ambition AGAIN. The second time. And I must rot the rest of my life here in this city for eternity.
I can't stand living in this godforsaken hole again. Dad, Mom...what are you expecting me to do? Live up to your dream and be a nun when you both are no longer beside me? What am I supposed to do, dear?!
Ha, it's 23rd :))) Night reading for now!!!!
Peace,
Hal
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