I quit :)

A bunch of horrid bad things have come and hit me brutally in recent times, pulling me into the deep hole of sorrows of which I truly had no idea how to get out :) One decision giving up for my parents' sake, again, led to another renunciation that I have been making a great effort on and struggling so far in order to achieve the goal I set and to prove that how much I am capable of...

Firstly I quit the job for the restaurant due to the fact that my parents couldn't permit me working over mid-night and it is unbearable to witness the old folks staying up so late awaiting me while they have to wake up very early on the following morning. Therefore, although I went through the interview and got entire approval from my boss, I must abandon the job right after one day. 

People must have considered that I have quit because I couldn't manage to work under the seriously pressure and none of them believe in my genuine case since I'm old enough to decide the path for me without any interference of parents. That on account of my parents' disapproval seems to be such a perfect excuse for covering the true reason that I am slothful and worthless. Whatever others may think about me is all right, my parents are always beyond others' judgement. I used to quite my university in Saigon and end up with such a monotonous and tedious life right here in this now, thus no wonder why I'd better do it again with the job because of their health. 

Honestly the job was bustling and I must work all the time with a fast speed in order to keep pace up with the huge amount of clients flocking to our restaurant, particularly at night. However, I have nothing to complain because I kinda love the lively atmosphere there. I worked and talked to clients like a machine and yeah, I am a type of person who loves working under pressure. I am not fearful of hardship but easily get pulled back and tied by the string of emotion.

Today I didn't take care of my document sent to Hanoi for the programme that I am struggling to prepare these days and didn't keep falling for someone anymore regardless of myself :)) I just found myself no longer qualified for those beautiful things. It's not because of lacking of enthusiasm, motives and patience to carry on, but because I am put in the worst condition that I have ever had, causing me to cease everything that it would have come true if I have been in a different situation. 

Life is a bitch :)) sometimes I wonder what mistakes I made to endure through many sadness and bitterness, and of course, downs in life. I would be supposed to bawl dreadfully if I were the little girl of the past =)) though, the person right now can't even shed a tear or feel broken just because she is absolutely empty and souless now. Like emotionless... and I do love this state :) 

What are teardrops? How are grieves? I'm clueless of those definitions by now :)) =)) I only know how to smile, laugh and keep quiet :3

I deactivated my facebook account, turned back to my old-childhood habits - reading books, contemplating, writing fictions, studying and having a free-like-bird mind, kinda wrapped myself in my world without communicating with anyone. The more I keep myself distant from the social world outside, the better for me to discover mine...uhm the perk of being an introvert :) It is safe! Sorry for being over-sensitive in this period but that's my choice, at least I can live for myself once.

Night to he world,

xoxo

Hal