In a bad mood

Had I revised more carefully, I would have taken the French test more perfectly without any trace of the minor mistakes that are upsetting me heaps. 

You may find me look more like a fool than a perfectionist in this case since I have not learned French for months due to the huge heaped up stuff at school during the semester. 

I'm sick of trying to be the best and performing the role of a hero "saving the world". It is not necessary to push myself this hard and struggle for craps. Sometimes, I wish my parents might sympathise with me even in the least of what I am confronted at school daily, encourage me in the long-run of endurance and give me more reasons to keep my optimist towards the darkest era of lifetime.

Sadly they unlikely have a tendency to aid me in lifting up my mood as my wish but urge me to stand hardships and assent to their aspiration regardless of how awful I feel inside. It is frustrating because I have no clue what I have been doing so far and for whom I must survive? 

My life seems aimless and tasteless as if this is not my life but my parents'. I let them take the wheel and control mine which leads to inconsequential things that would tear me apart each time I ever ponder over the vision of me graduating from the shitty school with the worthless degree, dragging the foot around the city to apply for a job irrelevant to the faculty I'm learning, and eventually getting conscious of how many years I have wasted for nothing. 

Well, I would probably half laugh at my stupid face and half lament the entire collapse of the mind and the body. Like the insane lost in the flow of life where my faith has already gone since forever. 

How to get rid of these issues? I do not know. Anyway, this is exactly the story of my life and yes, you are still stick to the darkest chapters of the whole story and even "the writer" is unaware of which chapter the twist would come.  Or never. Who knows!

My mood at the moment is as gloomy as the sky tonight. It is quite bitterly cold outside which seems to reinforce the sense of depression. 

*sigh*

I'd better shut up and work!!! :) 

Cheer up, Hal!