Miss Independent

Dear me, 

It's the high time to wake up and leave what is not mine!

Having experienced a few days to cool me down and take time for absorbing in my own thoughts, I believe that now I can stand firmly on my bare feet to deal with any obstacles ahead. No more complaints. No more tears. No more melancholies.

Like most Asians, I also get influenced by the thoughts of a typical Asian who tends to avoid impediments instead of taking steps forward and deal with them. I blame all the bad things in my life for either environment or some bad luck that God forces me to suffer according to my karma. Then it is responsible for the least endeavours I put into this life. In other words, I put myself at the mercy of destiny and hardly think of making it better. 

Honestly I hate the old me who only used her sentiments to handle with difficulties, concealing herself from troubles and grieves until things go well, whereas they never do for real as her expectation. Frankly speaking, she is a mixture of sensitivity and vulnerability. Anybody could attack her heart, darken the mind then drag her down to the bottom of hell like a feckless organism on the Earth regardless of how much she did her utmost to be good. 

To hold another life with these little bare hands, turning myself over a new leaf is a must. If it is unbearable to undergo through wretched circumstances, I'm supposed to stand up and make the best out of the worst ones. You know, giving up is for losers and I must be the winner in this game. I don't let others decide if I can achieve it or not because it's me who might create magic and draw my own unique fairy tale. The inner strength and unstoppable efforts are certainly my priorities. 

Well, it's heartbreaking to see myself formerly on account of getting disoriented by good and bad friends, losing the love of my life. Neither love nor friendship is indeed necessary to me at the present once I have already had something to do with my general lack of faith in something lasting forever since long time ago. 

The worst betrayals always come from the one I trust the most. If I'm at all culpable for what happens to me, it's because I did give away my trust too easily. Trust is a difficult thing whether it's finding the right people to trust, or trusting the right people will do the wrong thing. But trusting my heart is the riskiest thing of all. In the end, the only person I can truly trust is myself. 

Yeah, only me-myself-and-I. 

Henceforth, I shall cover the past with the mantle of oblivion and put those dark memories into a Pandora's box so as to move on and conquer new things. Time waits for no man.

My past defines who I am today...so yeah, here I am - miss Independent!

Independence might cause me to fight the battle all alone but I don't definitely feel lonesome due to the great supports and presences of my beloved people. Hallielujah! 

If you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people, it's because God knows they are capable of handling it.

If God could trust me, why don't I treat myself the same?!

With love,

Hal 

xoxo