Instead of drowning myself in the depth of agony and remorse, I attempted to get bound up in a ton of activities in order to distract myself from missing him.
Just begin to join a zumba & belly dance class daily. While dancing along with the sound of music, I'm fond of freeing myself and moving as strongly and quickly as possible for burning my calories and fat :') Not only does it recuperate my health, but also my spirit is getting higher than ever :p
I spend more time on studying, helping maman cook and household, skyping with my close friends and becoming addicted to a Chinese drama named "Lan Ling Wang" in recent time.
The more I'm busy, the less I free my thoughts to fly towards his place except the dark of night :) I dream about him and miss him so fucking much =] Nothing has enough power to rescue me from this truth. I cry then get painful, though it's gonna be better, eh?!
A lesson from the Chinese drama I have been following - Loving someone is just like a gamble and what you have to pay is your love. Whether it is worth or not, eventually you always have to suffer pains during this game.
*sigh*
PS: I've successfully fixed the mechanical pencil that he offered me :p the second thing he left after the book =] What I received from him after more than four years is just a mechanical pencil and a book; though I do treasure them :) He's weird, so damn weird lolz~ Anw, I love him! Even though we shan't ever see each other again, I can't repudiate it, either.
Love this song from the drama so!!! Its lyric sounds like my current situation, neh!*sigh*
PS: I've successfully fixed the mechanical pencil that he offered me :p the second thing he left after the book =] What I received from him after more than four years is just a mechanical pencil and a book; though I do treasure them :) He's weird, so damn weird lolz~ Anw, I love him! Even though we shan't ever see each other again, I can't repudiate it, either.
Destiny - "Lan Ling Wang" ost
If the eyes were covered, then can the pain go away as well?
Can you take the mask off, and still be cruel?
If I hadn’t met you, then I wouldn’t have believed
That in life there is the will, the will to keep on loving
Love can let us know each other and our wishes, since we are each others’ lives
And confirm that heaven has a destiny for each of us
Love can allow us to know each others hearts, and touch each others soul
But it can’t not fight against our fate written in the falling stars
I belong to you, to your destiny
I no longer belong to my destiny
I don’t want a life (without you) I don’t want to wake up
I want to hold on to you silently in my dreams
Love has written my history
It can not predict my destiny
The life you’ve given me, in the next life, my life will still be yours
(Cello and drums)
If I can follow you always like a shadow
I would never want to walk alone
If I can become an ant (by you)
I would willingly become that nothing
My life is fated to be yours
It is clear that I can not let you go
Life is a riddle
Because of you it has meaning
Since the beginning, my everything has been for you.
My heart has always be loyal to you
I can not be without you
Even if everything changes, even if I can’t save myself
No matter if it is doomed, no matter how many years pass
I belong to you, to your destiny
I no longer control my own destiny
I don’t want a life (without you), I don’t want to wake up
I want to hold on to you silently in my dreams
Love has written my history
It can not predict my destiny
The life you’ve given me, in the next life, my life will still be yours
(Vocals)
I belong to you, to your destiny
I no longer control my own destiny
I don’t want a life (without you), I can not leave you
Even in a storm I can move with peace in my heart
Love has written my history
It can not predict my destiny
The life you’ve given me, will belong to heaven and earth, and to you
Belong to you
:(
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