Whatever

cruel. why is he so cruel? how can people ever be so cruel to each?

why am i so naive? why am i so weak and stupid?

break my heart...one more time...one more time...and one more time...until my heart shatters. i burst into a convulsive sob. hopefully this is the last time i do.

why am i doing this fucking thing? how can i stand seeing myself like this?

how did i let him get into my heart so easily?

because i love and i get hurt. and i should learn this lesson, in someone's eyes that hates you, no matter how much effort you have been giving all the time to make him happy or at least moved, they only offend his eyes after all.

i'm tired and i want to give up on him over and over again, so many times that i can't count. this time i won't follow my heart any more.

...and i'll stop dreaming, just living with the present. i did have a crush on him, that's fact; but i can't be sure if he felt the same way back then, because i felt none on it from him. or maybe i was too demanding and childish and insensitive.

whatever.

i've done!