imma go outta the city for a couple days on tuesday to hcmc so as to complete the procedure. it'd better to return to my city as soon as it's over, though i'd like to stay within few more days to meet friends i need to say farewell.
not many friends know this, i'm sorry for concealing them everything due to the fact that i don't actually have much time to manage all of appointments with every single friends with whom i've ever dealt and not everything has to be good to reveal.
maybe beneath others' eyes, that there are loads of friends around me is so lucky that i ought to be proud of sometimes. nevertheless, my real friends are even less than five fingers of a hand in fact.
likely i'm becoming a stranger to my friends now. i have no idea about this problem but i don't care anymore. perhaps my life is such a terrible mess and i can't have enough time to cope with it, either. perhaps because i'm too fed up with myself and my own life to concern others' problems.
to be perfectly honest, the truth is i'm tired in general. you know what, i can't bring this tired person with an empty mind to sit and talk to my friends about their lives, about love stories, about what's goin' on, about their sorrows.
what's more, i'm not in full possession of my senses to give them advice, support them and try to understand and put myself into their shoes so that i would be optimistic, smile up and give them another light of hope as the way they expect from me.
i'm sorry for that.
on the other hand, i don't want to confide or whine anything about myself, either. because i suppose it is impossible for them to help me while they have already had troubles and others in their lives. hence, i shut myself out eventually.
and this time, for the trip to hcmc, i only let very few friends know about my coming back and i'd arrange my time to meet them surely.
i'm making an excuse to everyone out there but they might not really care about it, sure enough. and to friends who read over this blog, i know that you won't mind much about this entry because it ain't for you ='D you definitely understand it.
as the fact that since you were lucky *laughing out loud* to know its existence, you've got a firm position in my heart and you are my closest friends :) my matters or yours are the same, we do concern because we made a vow we'd be friends forever through the ups and downs of existence.
at the present, some probably hate me, others may get away from me as my silence recently makes them bored to death. they love the old one who is talkative, impartial, sense of humor, optimistic with positive thoughts and bright smiles all the time to support, courage and make their days as their wishes.
sorry but i'm not a doll. i'm a human and i have my own sensation, too. my life has sorrows, matters and blah blah things to settle. it's not always as happy and lucky as you see hak lolz~
and through this tough stage i'm facing at the moment, i only wish to deal with my friends, my close and real ones because they can walk along with me. they don't talk much, don't say sorry for me, don't only know abt themselves, don't ask to hear my problems for fun =]
so that's why i'm becoming stranger to everybody.
- Hal
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