What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

The last night of January turned out to be one of the most terrifying days I'd ever gone through. I bottled myself up in bedroom, crying my heart out and coming to the fleeting thought of committing suicide at times to get rid of all these uncontrollable painful matters that I was being confronted, wondering what wrongdoings I'd done in the previous incarnation so that I must endure such a deadly psychiatric disorder.

Then came my best brother and sifu (Master) Li Shimin texting me to check if I was stable and balanced. Yes, always them. The best men after my father continuously worry and take a good care of me all the time and they are also the ones to whom I always communicate the most.

They devoted their little previous time to me, encouraging me, lifting me up and delivering a bunch of advice on how to move on and live strongly and independently. They never seem to comfort me or give me soft words to console as well as promises to be my moral support for eternity but guide me how to take a wheel of my life firmly through the hurricanes.

This morning, sifu made his points out clearly to me that he would no longer willingly listen to my rantings and pessimistic attitudes which were poisoning myself little by little without knowing what the imminent harmful consequences might block my way to other better things.

I am certain he unconditionally loves me and concerns my issues so much that he takes his time and efforts, even bitter words to show me various priceless lessons in life. That's why I forever appreciate and respect him wholeheartedly to call him sifu Li for years.

If I was brutally thrown at the bottom of a downside previous night with neither hopes nor any aspiration for life, his words have led me in high spirit, determine to submit greatest inconveniences and hardships ahead. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I believe that after that shock and pain, I won't get afraid of any kind of detrimental elements to my mental state of mind.

According to my promises to sifu, there are a double things I'm bound to carry on without any sense of discouragement no matter what life may send my way:

The first: an outstanding achievement in becoming a bilingual.

The second: well-developed mental and physical health.

Rather than the couple things above, he would cease to talk with me again. What a strict measure due to his only pupil's breakthrough! =.=

"Final warning to you, Hallie. That your life is whether beautiful or not depends on your decisions. I shall waste no time in reminding me how to live again. Either grow up and fly high or fall and root in hell, it's up to you -_-  Gotta have lunch. Ganbatte kudasai!"

That's the whole story about the first of February :) As long as I can adjust to be my best in every situation and beam up no matter what, que sera sera!

はい、頑張ります！:)

~ Hal