Shall there be a miracle on Xmas?

26 days until Christmas 

Is it true if a woman is happier when she is loved by a man than she loves him? 

Is there a miracle for me at this Christmas Eve? Like a polar star hitting our fates and connect the hearts together? 

Well, I'm daydreaming again... :) Sometimes I'm like such a little teenager dreaming about a love story that would turn out to be happy for ever after in the end since good things always come at last as long as I'm struggling and putting enough efforts to complete the ride and reach the ultimate point of the road.

This is the real life, though. Love is not something we can achieve by great efforts, isn't it? No matter what I've been doing through the way, it still falls down to an uncertain relationship for six years.

I wonder how far this kind of relationship may lead to...

Perhaps the upcoming date at Christmas Eve is going to be the last chance for both of us. If my polar start doesn't rise up and bound us by destiny, I shan't carry on heavy steps for this relationship and shan't write his name on the blog again. 

It must be tough and painfully horrid to me, yet it's the best for both of us. Over six years, I've been being depressed, crying, waiting, laughing happily, suffering, giving up on him multiple times but after all, it is still him the only one I love the most. 

This unrequited love is like a roller coaster. Today he lifts me up to heavens, another day he turns me down to the bottom of hell. With him, I always have the sense of extreme: sadness to happiness :) The sense that none of instant flings has ever made me feel the same.

Am I such an idiot? Maybe! Anyway, I try with all my might to set low expectations and not get my hopes up for the Xmas. You know, he's quite good at disappointing me :))

Honestly, I've done my utmost for this love...the rest part of it, I'd better leave for destiny and him :x 

Twinkle twinkle little stars, may I ask you where the polar star is? Will it rise on Xmas? Is this the wrong person but in time? Tell me tell me and I'll believe in you...

If the miracle doesn't happen :) I'll definitely ride on my own path from the day on. I promise. I'm not going to be stubborn forever. Don't worry much about me, friends :p

Someday...somewhere...sometime...there will come the polar star to my sky :) I believe in it!

Much love,

~ Hal