Respectful conversations

Unlike other usual quarrels, Ryan and I always choose to have a heart-to-heart conversation each time we start to have something disagreed with the partner on our mind. Instead of keeping the uncomfortable things inside and pile them up day by day, we’d rather say them out and handle them immediately right away.

Last night was also one of those conversations, he talked to me before our night kiss and sleep. It was from my bad habit as usual, when I was really into something and concentrate 100%, I often neglected and forgot the whole world out there, even myself. Back to the days of working, I could sit in front of my lappie since 8am until 6 to 7pm without a break, I would be grabbing something to put in my mouth and working at the same time. 7pm I finished a bit to have a shower and kept myself available to my clients, suppliers in order to solve all the problems until 1am. It became abundantly clear that my life was nothing out of work. He was so intensively concerned about me that he asked me to leave my job on the occasion of the pandemic. 

These days I started to follow and study languages, new knowledge and skills, of course I even forgot other things in reality, my schedule was fucked up since I spent most time either in front of my lappie, or books. Ryan must help me from household chores to reminding of meal times, drinking water, kissing him sometimes lolz~ That’s why we had the conversation last night about these bad habits, he expressed me how he felt and worried about me, certainly offered me a few good way to adjust my routine for the better health and lifestyle. 

He is a master of time management. Life only offers each 24 hours per day, it’s us who decide on how we spend depending on how smart we are. In one day, he always sets the limit for each activity: time for exercise, time for working, time for household chores, time for wifey, time for learning, time for meals, time for entertainment, self-time such as meditation and chanting, time for reading news and time for rest. In the meantime, for me, I only have time for working, studying, sleeping, eating, surfing on the internet, writing and reading. Done!

It seems smart since he always advises but never forces me to do anything, just says for me to consider and think twice for he figures we both are grown-up and mature adults, not children to be taught how to do a thing in a proper way. This is the way he respects me and also the way I respect him whenever I open a conversation to speak out what I think and feel in a direct way, not hesitate at all. Perhaps thanks to this way, we have never really got any serious quarrel so far because we don’t request each other to change so as to adapt to our expectation, which means our respect. 

Such kind conversation often starts with “I see you like this….I feel….I think if you are like this…I would feel…” and ends with “Aniweii, it’s just my own opinions and from my own perception, you can consider and think about it. You are the one who decide what to do next on your own. I’m not going to interfere in your decision because I respect yours.”

When you hear someone say so, of course you don’t feel offended and insulted at all, do you? That’s also how I felt after our conversation. Later he gave me a good-night kiss and said “I love you no matter what, honey” :)

Love,

Hal-