Can't be a superhero forever!

12 jours avant Noel

I'm perfectly conscious of the built-up stress for the whole week, thus I let myself stay at home for a little break after such a damn long and exhausting week regardless of another ton of things to do next week.

However, a person blamed on me for irresponsibility as I had not been present at our group meeting with no excuse and even warned me not to become overly self-confident for my ability.

I speechlessly looked at the person like "what the fuck are you talking about? Am I irresponsible? Am I so self-confident that I look down and make light of other subjects?"

The first, I might have a self-irresponsible attitude but it never happens when it comes to business involved others. I always complete everything in silence and I do prefer working alone to having group meeting for gossips and chat-chip purposes. 

The second, I hardly learn for the high scores in this fucking school :| It can't be clearer that I know exactly where my position is. It's the person, other students and teachers who overestimate, put too much expectation and give me the damn pressure while I'm truly such a mere mediocre student.

They demand me being a superhero and then throw bad words at me if I'm tired and need to take a rest. Merde! 

*sigh* I hardly find my mind free anywhere other than yoga class :) Having been through a tiring day with unwanted people and problems, it seems the most ideal way to close my eyes at the class, focusing on breaths, setting loose my body and thinking of nothing at all.

It is intriguingly relaxing especially at the end of my long days stuck with complicated and annoying ones. Well, no more complaints. Whatever! I will only take my part and never concern others' :)

Good night! I must rise up very early tmr morning and prepare for my oral speech in front of the whole school on behalf of students -_- Again, I'm not proud of being outstanding and teachers' pet since it feels like a burden to me.

I wish to become an ordinary student staying at home on weekend and sleeping in like who I really am - a lazy girl @@

By the way, I'm not going to write "Othello" script and see how they deal with it :) Excuse me, you need me but I don't need you all. If you suppose I'm showing off and over-confident, ok I am. So what?

You think I'm childish? Yes, I am. Any kind of tags that you want to put on me, it's okay because it's none of my business!

~ Hal

PS: Will texted me this morning :') and it made my day :x Although I'm bound to spend the Xmas without him for his complicated hectic life, it's pleased as he texted me and at least would spent time with me in SG :p Merci!