The increase in her ages probably causes her weakness of body movement, I told her many times to mind the steps when it's rain but somehow she's still tumbled down not only on the yard but also in the bathroom of our house.
The more I begin to feel her age, the more I feel uneasy about leaving her with my dad here in attempt to go overseas as my wish. My parents are no longer in their best condition, as a filial duty, how come I quite everything here and leave?
The matter sticks in my mind for weeks and bothers me a lot. I might not write or tell anyone about it since nobody would be able to advise me, even I failed to figure it out. Sometimes I'm tired of contemplating how to make the right choice after confronting that many incidents. What's more, there are unexpected troubles lately happening in my family which adds more heavy burden on my heart.
Instead of coping with it and calming things down, people just keep moaning all the time that makes me suffering and indeed tired. My mind is nearly going crazy for those woeful complains. It's intensely tough to witness what is happening but I'd be mad soon if they don't let me be alone and take a rest.
Alas, what did I make wrongdoings?
This is not the first time. Nothing new. I left my future, my dream, everything and came back here to suffer through thick and thin with you both. What should I do now? I can't come up with any ideas to please you more...I'm tired. Super tired. I swear I'm sick of surviving like this.
Our life is what our thoughts make it. I'm always optimistic to cheer me up and fight for you. What is happiness? It's not those things...it's love! We truly love one another and stay under one roof as family, it's enough to me. So please don't make me tired any longer.
It's me your daughter trying to be good and optimistic. Why don't you just let it easy for me? And again, I've never had a thought of regret for being born in this family because I love you, papa maman!
I wish I could cry for a while to lighten my heart...though my eyes were already dried out so that I just bear in mind these sorrows all alone :) It's okay after all! There never was, and never will be, a place on Earth free from sorrows. The only sorrow-less place possible is the heart, when the God is present there.
Life is truly a great sunrise...I believe it!
Mom, get well soon and live long for my sake.
Love you,
Hal
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire