Searching for Polaris

 

2 jours avant Noel

 

Another Christmas is coming to town. Another alone and lonely one as usual. Here am I - all alone, wrapping myself in a blanket on bed, hugging Willy teddy, typing the laptop keyboard and getting ready for the double final term examinations tomorrow.

 

Some friends asked me if I had Xmas plan, though I had no idea what further I would be able to do on the following night since I'm not in a loving relationship like them. It would be silly and awkward in a way of hanging out together with couples, observing their affection towards each other, feeling so out of this world and making me look pathetic and lonely. Well, I dislike the idea of being marked such a weak one beneath others' eyes, then I choose to hibernate in my bedroom and enjoy Christmas by myself until it's gone.

 

Despite my big love for Xmas, it never fails to remind me of how lonely I am, to make me feel miserable for being single as if this holiday would mean nothing unless I had someone to share it with me. I'm not going to blame my friends for this :') But I can't go out with them in this uneasy condition.

 

This Xmas must come to me like in the past years: curling on a couch, chewing sweet-smelling popcorn, serving myself a cup of hot cocoa and watching a movie named "Home Alone 2" lolz~ That would be a nice treat on this holiday, eh?!

 

Hopefully I shall experience another silent and serene Xmas night this year :') On Christmas' Eve, I will make a wish that I'd have someone special for me, maybe next Xmas or next next Xmas...no matter how many Xmas would come, I'm still waiting for him...

 

He would be the one, emerging like a polar star for me in a winter night. Because polar star always stays where it is even when other stars move with seasons, I wish he would be like Polaris - always and forever stay in one spot for me to find whenever I feel so lost and need him.

 

Well, keep on dreaming kiddo :)) But I still believe in Xmas magic...I do!

 

In the cold and lonely deep, I would love to look up the dark night through the windows and search for the sight of a polar star only belonged to me... :p I'm dreaming haha better hit the hay soon!!!

 

Xmas, please be the peace in me!

 

:x

 

Love ya,

 

Hal