Hello December

Here comes December – my favourite moth of year. And I am inching closer to the end of the year with a heart in emptiness.

I am no longer the little girl sitting beside the windows, resting her chin on the palms of her hands and longing for Santa Claus’s coming. She was not so ignorant about his existence; however, magical and colourful Christmas would always stay there with her as long as she retained the faith in those sparkling thoughts, her state was still in balance.

21 years old, not too young to remain optimism or illusion but also not too far to look back and reform my attitudes. I assume that I have grown up a lot after the heartbreak, learning how to accept some brutal truth despite myself, becoming well-acquainted with temporary people as well as changeable happiness. But I still have great faith in the phrase “Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism leads to power.”, then I would like to direct my ways to what makes me happy and pleased.

This Christmas season in Vietnam, as an annual event, is not really special and celebrated as wonderfully as it is supposed to be in other countries. What is more, snow never fall down and the temperature rarely gets down below 10*C. I hate raindrops, also the kind of feeling wet and dirty in a raincoat each time I need to go outside under the rain. How disgusting it is! Who says it’s romantic and full of poetic emotions appropriate for lovers, whereas in fact it only causes my clothes to damp and turns my mood up side down like a toy. To more precise, it dooms me like how it is outside.

You would come to conclude that I prefer snow due to the fact that I have never experienced at a place covered in snow at Christmas, suffering the chill in the air that might cold blood down to the bone and feeling pissed off. However, I’m not that kind of person. Once I fall in love with something or someone, even if it must come with a price, I’m willing to take it.

My unstoppable desire is rejoicing a white Christmas in Paris with Ralph, experiencing the real sensation of cold in every inch of body except my heart. I love the idea of walking along the street full of bright colorful lights, feasting my eyes on a flock of people in warm clothes under the snowflakes falling, warming both of my hands in a red coat’s pockets, singing softly to myself Xmas songs followed the sound of playlist from my iPod, and smiling merrily at anyone on the street and addressing “Merry Christmas” when the clock ticks 00:00 am at Christmas' Eve. If taking a stroll on the streets in Paris with Ralph in that way, it would apparently be merrier and more marvelous :)

The pieces of memories with him seem conceived in white theme. It is responsible for the reason why each winter comes, I do miss him anyhow. Our love story is like the winter: although it’s extremely severe, we still make it sweet and magical like how Christmas turns the winter so nice to us. He, up there in another white place called Heaven, must have been praying for me to take my ass off to Paris someday so that I would have a white Christmas for real. I bet!

*Phew*

Drop a few lines for this month.

Dear December,

I’m not about to write a letter for Santa Claus this year. It is not because my life has turned into realistic period, the point is I decided to live it in a different way. Here I am, still the little daydreamer of yesterday. Just her dreams are in control wisely. That’s all!

Consequently, don’t forget to bless and grant me wishes since I never cease believing in magic :)

Please make this month perfect to me. I want no tears in this month, okie?!

Btw, tell him that I love him and miss him heaps down here.

With love,

xoxo

Hal