Still 20 years old :3

No words could possibly fall down on me to describe my emotions of the last day being 20. A kind of anxiety and confusion washed over me as if I would have got married the following day. Each time contemplating that I'm moving closer to the first stages of twentieth will let me down a bit for I'm intensely afraid of getting old. Sounds ridiculous, right? But yeah it is, I have an uncomfortable feeling for ages.

Back to childhood, I progressively anticipated growing up to experience the big world outside from which my parents always forbade me due to their overprotection. It was unjustified of me to observe the older neighbour brothers driving bicycles to school or hanging out with a bunch of friends, they laughed, they talked, they had a million interesting stories that I had found neither in my novels nor comics. Day by day, the adulthood has been precipitated before I recognize how much I grow up.

Like today, as writing these words, I have found myself hitting the first steps of twentieth not yet. It is probably correct due to the fact that most of close people often claim only the ages grow, not my own personality. Although I'm about to be 21, my perception of reality and behaviours are still little like a 12 year-old-girl. Furthermore, the appearance also looks like in a teenager era.

These comments partly made me confused and upset because I hate to received the treatment for a kid from my beloved people. Firstly, I attempted to camouflage with serious attitude and formal dresses to pretend to be a person who was completely strange to me. Step by step, some great characters that used to be the cutest points of me appeared to vanish. Consequently, I decided to give it up and turn back to who I am, enjoying with it and enhance what I have owned.

It is your right to consider me stubborn, persistent and childish girl; yet it no longer matters to me. I know how to behave in various circumstances, just please let me be myself when I'm with the people I love the most. I do not want to wear a lady mask all the time :') Still a kid, though here is a wise kid :p

Last day of 20...I should try doing something crazy tonight lah~

From tomorrow ahead, I will count from one to nine after the number "twenty". It sounds pretty scary and despressed...However, this young heart would be the power to defeat any kind of ages, I believe lolz~

And my wish :')

Let it come tomorrow, eh?!

"Hal, be a good girl!"

Peace and love,

Hallie