Unexpected moment :')

There was a moment last night that I would never ever be able to forget for the rest of my life. I felt love. My heart did stop beating for a while as the moment had occured. However, suddenly fears and doubts washed over me with a million questions in my mind.

What if it was just a joke?

Does he still love me?

What did it mean?

That moment was too short, too fast and too soft for me to have a clue about his feelings for me. "He is my ex." I stick this truth in my mind. Sadly I was out of the truth as I saw him, everything that I had prepared and considered before seemed to vanish at once. Then I turned out so damn stupid and awkward in front of that guy which never came while I was facing others.

I could be a very great girlfriend to any other guy; but he is the only one that the silliest and stupidest parts of me always find their way to expode each time I'm with him.

I want to love him again.

I want to hold his hand really tight to never let him go.

I want to hug him.

...but I'm still wondering that unexpected moment :((

What's wrong with me now?

Every emotion in my heart stays the same. I believe in my sense that I do love him heaps.

But...

What if...?

Is it....?

*sigh*

What is it supposed to be? I dunno :( I'm feeling so confused and shy and blah blah with mixed feelings in my mind. Awwwwwwwwww!!!!!

One half wants me to go
One half wants me to stay
I just get all so confused

But everytime your love is near
And everytime I'm filled with fear
'cause everytime I see your face
My heart does begin to race every time lah lah lah~

Love,

Hal