I am feeling a bit pessimistic as summer is approaching an end in a few days, exactly 8 days on. Neither energy nor enthusiasm runs into me at the thought of coming back to that shitty school since I have not been much fond of it for intense hatred within over three years. My current bf is the only highlight of the whole doom atmosphere I have to bear at the school.
There are plenty of contentious issues between both of us in recent time, triggering cold wars and dead silence that is stressfully tiresome and depressing to me. The more we are together, the more I find out dissent and entire different perceptions of life at minds. Vietnamese education system for instance was compared to trash by me, leading to his vehement anger due to the fact that his parents are teachers and my harassing words seem offensive to them as well as other good teachers in my friendlist on Facebook.
What’s more, I perpetually emphasise how much I am eager to flee to settle in a country belonging to the Northern Europe subsequent to enduring ages in tears and deeply resent in this country and certainly for my next generations’ sake. In a mean while, he merely wishes to remain his living here, dedicating his efforts and ability to the fatherland.
Excuse me, don’t lambaste my patriotism :) My native Vietnam used to be one of the most precious thing of which I am perfectly proud when talking to foreigners about my country, drawing in them good impression about not only Vietnamese local people but also beautiful cultures scattered along the destinations within the country. However, “flowers” I shower mean nothing compared with “shits” others make. From scary robbery, homicide, internal organ trade to corruptive ministry of education and training and other matters-which-you-must-not-mention in public or you’d remain in custody for life :)
To be honest, I am not a saint. Although I have a deep love for my country where all the lovely childhood memories belong, most my best friends are leaving and not longer looking forward to the day of comeback. Have you ever wondered why Vietnamese overseas students never hope to return to develop their motherland regardless of their massive patriotism? Because they are horrified and indeed depressed about the future of Vietnam, clearly predicting the vision of corruption going from bad to worse over a few years :)
I am so sorry for drawing the picture with those stark facts in details but it is reality and that you turn your face away and ignore doesn’t change anything. When you are on the streets, you must heighten your vigilance for scary inevitable robberies that may cost your life. The society becomes a hunger game where only villains exist. I am dreadfully scared to dead!
Well, whatever. Hopefully my bf and I will make it square tomorrow because I’m missing now. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship with him, there are no more frequent updated posts as usual. My world seems to shuffle around him :’) even my leisure time for chit chats with besties and for favourite habits such as writing blog, reading book, watching movies is also cut off heaps *frown*
I am going to be a senior within 8 days with a mood of melancholy for the beginning of fresh semester. Aha the final year as a student. Hallie, fighting!!!!
*sigh* Perhaps, no call tonight with him *frown again*
Love,
Hal
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