Is it just another crush?

"Do you ever think, when you're all alone 

All that we can be, Where this thing can go 

Am I crazy or falling in love 

Is it really just another crush "

I listened to the song on the loop for hours subsequent to an intimate night with him on the beach on his birthday. It has been such a long period of time I have nothing to do with any sort of dates or relationship just because I am indeed satisfied with me being on my own, creating happiness without getting based on someone special, spending much time with Kat and the gang and beyond all, I don't have to show so much excessive in someone that pay less attention on myself. 

I guess I have a crush on someone for now, though. Well, this is the first time I find my situation seem to be put in the very song "Crush" by David Archuleta since each of the lyric is running through me like singing out loud what I am experiencing. There are something more than the phrase "just friends" between us while hanging out together as observing on his behaviours towards me and the way he talks to me. 

Honestly, I am confused and contradictory. Half of me tells me to hold back no matter what the hell is going on with me or any ideas involved in dates come across over my mind, since I'm not ready to get on a roller coaster of emotions again. In contrast, another runs to him and I do wanna be with him as much as possible. I love the way he cracks me up, the way he cheers me up when I'm not alright, the way he soothes me, the way he tells me a bunch of stories mostly about his world, and especially the way he opens his heart to me, unlike the way I block all of his ways into my heart right from the beginning :)

I wonder whether this complicated relationship is healthy and right but I have no option other than regarding it as a crush for I still need a commitment, not being taken for granted that I am someone special to him. I am not interested in that unamenable tag :) 

*sigh* I dunno! Everything is so fresh and strange to me now. Like I've been alone for so long that I forget how to deal with a guy on a date, what to sort out types of relationships and how to take the wheel in any circumstance. Okay, my words seem confusing too~ I shouldn't write more!

Love,

Hal

PS: Lâu rồi mới nghe lại nhạc của anh David bé :x Vẫn yêu đương như ngày nào vì bài nào cũng hay. Nhưng đây là lần đầu tiên nghe bài Crush, sau vài trăm ngàn lần nghe trước đây, mà lại thấy nó liên quan với hiểu lyric tới zị =))) Thiệt chớ, hôm nay là ngày 23 :))