Having slammed my bedroom door, I started to weep buckets. In my own room, I could possibly explode all of my restrained emotions for hours at school because I never wanted to show people my weakness clearly.
Sometimes I have no idea if I were a superman for others, then who would be the one for me in reality. For weeks, nearly all this May I mean, I've been so damn busy that it is rarely possible to either study or take myself a break to exhale.
As a matter of fact, I greatly succeeded in completing others' stuff perfectly while mine were just half-done after all, causing my bad outcomes to suffer.
It was such a surprise for me as the scores of Vietnamese subjects are dropping sharply. Then I tried to remind myself of reasons that had driven me into this way.
Actually the outcome ain't not that bad, yet I can't take it for granted that "as long as I pass, it'd be fine" like my classmates' thoughts. My pride won't let me sell myself that cheap.
What have I exactly done for myself after weeks ago? Moving constantly like a robot, talking and running all the time, never going to sleep before 2am, learning by heart everything and solving problems all alone...
It sounds like I were a superman lolz~ Yup, I used to think that "it's nice to put others beyond myself because making people smile would bring undying bliss to my soul."
However, at the moment I feel so much tired of that thought. Superman, at least, has his powers or supernatural to save the world. In the mean time, I'm just a little girl who is doing her utmost to please others because she thinks it would turn be good...
Well, I'm not here to complain or blame on others :) Though just please let me grumble a bit for I was really upset today.
Honestly, I just wanna be a ordinary girl like a million ones out there. It's not my wish to get gratitude and compliments from others since they don't help to save my things.
*sigh*
What should I do now?!
Peace,
~ Hal
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