Last night, I had a weird dream about my ex bf. From US, he headed back to Vietnam and we saw each other after years. At the time, I was wondering if my feeling for him was still the same as before he had left. And after all the pains and scars left in my heart would be recovered because of that guy once again. Yup, it was just a dream but the sense of conscious was so real that I could remeber every detail within.
While walking side by side, he suddenly touched my hand gently. As a result, my heart started to race and pound fast with strange emotions. I couldn't tell what was wrong with me, but partly I knew I still had something towards him. Certainly it has never gone. As I used to say, once I gave my heart away, I will never feel sorry for doing it or mean to take it back from people no matter how much he hurts me.
The next things was that I was running to find my best friend to tell her about this fact. To my surprise and despair, she said to me that he had been back to Vietnam already a month ago, and they had gone everywhere together blah blah ~ ...
Having left the friend's place, I walked like crazy on the street and then fell down on the ground. My tears begun to drop. Yes, I cried. My heart felt like it was tightened so much that made me hard to breath.
Eventually, that silly situation brought me out of my dream. I woke up around half past three a.m and found myself so fragile, stupid because everything had been over for years, why did I still keep it chasing me into my dreams?
I admit that I still have something for him. Love is not having to say sorry. As a matter of fact, I never regret doing something in the past because all of those, whether good or bad, are creating this me today. Reliving past experiences sometimes can release powerful feelings that have been pent up too long.
But I was scared...and I wept buckets for real.
Hal, it was just a dream. In the other words, it's just like an undone nightmare for I'm not looking forward to dreaming more kind of this. My life sucks and brings to me sufficient matters, please don't make my heart ache again :)
Peace
Hal
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