Trouble is a friend

Today I bickered with a friend that I'd not contacted for months. 

She blamed me for not concerning and telling her everything about my life. It's like I've left her behind and totally forgot who she is in my life.

There was something in my mind stopping me before I meant to make an excuse for those. 

What should I say? 

Telling her that I'm in crises of feeling and in affliction because a ton of horrible things have visited me   and it's too hard to get through, that I must attempt to adapt it and of course I even don't really pay attention to anyone else but myself, that I'm recovering the old pains as well, that I didn't wanna pour my own sorrows on others anymore, that I'd rather being alone than laughing with the people who thinks badly about me but acting like loving me, that my friend-list is shortened, that I'm sick of explaining something to someone who ain't willing to trust my words but blaming on me?

Best friends doesn't mean we have to keep in touch with each other every day 24/7, gossip together and know all the other's world. Friendship is not like that. Absolutely not.

My bff and I have our own lives. Sometimes he calls me to talk about our problems or simply tease each other in order to blow our sorrows away in another way; otherwise he doesn't force me to confide or something due to the fact that he's already known that I just need someone to be with me. It's enough. 

If we've not talked to each other for years, we are still best friends forever as we reunite for sure. Nothing changes.

What do I become a trial to my beloved friends for? They ain't worth being taken full responsibility for my act. That's the way I love them and I do hope they will know me.

I'm really sorry if I don't care for my friends as much as they want, yet they should understand me more...Once I consider them my beloved people, I'll love them with all my heart until the end even though it's impossible to get close to them whole the time. 

Surely they became a part of my life so please don't judge me!!

I never turn my back on anyone. Just vice versa.

People come then go; it's the general rule and I give a crap about it no longer.