Old friendships

Out of sudden, I met a so-called close friend from the past as I came to my parents’ house. She has been always my neighbor but our friendship is no more. I felt a little bit sad but had no regrets about losing this friend.

She used to be a good friend to me since we were 8 years old. Our friendship was supposed to be extremely good until our entrance examination to our chosen high school in the city 😊 There was a matter of time we did not talk to each other anymore because she felt bad at her failure while this best friend passed to the high school she had applied (but actually failed from the high school for gifted).

A long time ago, we came back at good friends and the more we were together, the more I realized that we could only become good friends as long as inferior to her. She would always become a hero, do as a good friend to me, take care of me and be nice to me or even protect me. Then if it was this way, I always learnt how to be dumb, poor and low quality in front of her.

Time flies so fast. Now I got married. She never wanted to become my friend anymore. Maybe I was selfish or I played dumb for so long that made things become annoying to her. I’m not so sure about it. 

Sometimes people have a tendency to become an angel to interior ones because they love the feeling of being a giver, a hero but when it comes to those who are superior to them in another way, the anger and jealousy would destroy their kindness :)

I guess, I tried to put myself into many shoes to befriend with others already. 

I lost another friendship for I chose to leave. When I was poor, foolish and not so clever, the girl thought I did not deserve to be her friend until I got married to a good man with a high position in society. *Boom* I was honourly invited to the world of upper class and so sorry, I rejected.😊

I used to be a kind of person who would spend hours to cry over broken friendships :’) Just wanted to be recognized as a good friend and let my friends shine as they pleased. But now the definition of “friendship” to me seems quite different.

I only want to become who I am and those who are still here for me will be friends. 

Someone says: “The more we grow up, the lonelier we are.” Sounds sad, doesn’t it?! However, in my own opinion, I’d rather be alone and spend time with a few quality friends than try to add in as many as possible into my network. My time is limited and I don’t want to waste it. 

And sorry, I don’t feel lonely at all!

By the way, I just bought a new phone since the 6th of May. Forgot to update you – Samsung Galaxy S21+ :’) Lucky me! 

I still miss this blog lah~ I will come back to you soon xD

Love,

Hal