Another hiatus since I started to work at an office like other adults would do after the graduation, though deep down inside me, there is always an appositive flow of thoughts that is urging me to change and live the life I’m yearning for. A life of journeys, discovery and freedom. A life that I can both make the best of me and earn savings from what I am genuinely good at in an interesting way. But at the end of the day, I’m still just an ordinary girl surrounded by those who would sit there for hours telling me what I am supposed to do, how fortunate I am to get the current job while millions of unemployed people are miserably searching for such a stable job with high salary like me, how entirely insane I would be if I leave this job to harbor these illusions which may potentially crash out my future.
Sometimes I practically find it make sense for my life at the present is quite stable and would be permanently if I keep up this job for the rest of my life haha It means when I grow old, my hair turns grey, my eyes get blurred, I would sit in a room like a jail, live on a pension, have a lot of money that I have spent my whole life to save it and feeling dreadfully regretful for the passing youth that I didn’t dare to live to the fullest, the dream that I would never ever be able to catch even if I’m capable of “buying” the dream now. Yeah, it’s too late!! You only have one life to live and you can’t live twice, may be yes, albeit in my next incarnation, you would forget what you have missed in this life and continue to repeat that miserable circle. Who knows?!
Don’t gasp! I have already planned out the “route” to my beloved Europe within a month sooner or later regardless of any arguments that may occur with this decision. I am more than willing to tear out the cocoon as my safe zone for years due to my parents’ overprotective instincts and become a strong butterfly spreading its wing, flying straight to the European sky and indeed immersing its self into the infinite happiness that it has always been yearning for.
I am fully aware of how dangerous it is and this must be the risk that I have to take, but I’d rather take the risk and see more of the world than tie my ass on the chair behind the wall and imagine how big this world out there would be. Basically I am a destiny believer, anything happens for a reason. If I was born to become an introvert, bound by the destiny to put myself “in jail” for life to lead such a normal and simple life like others, my 6th sense wouldn’t urge me this much and obviously I couldn’t encounter many interesting people and amazing friends telling me fairy tales about life in “the wonderful life”. I believe universe has brought to me these magical encounters to light up in me the idea of voyages. I comprehend neither the term fairy tales nor the wonderful life in Europe is true but it is beautiful in its way or at least, my guts tell me that I belong to that place where I should feel like duck in water.
Dear me, if you have faith in your dream, it will become true someday! Yes, someday..
Okay, get my ass back to work and keep on the uninspired work for now *frown*
Love,
Hal
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