The day that I must present a play is coming, I mean tomorrow afternoon at school. Although I have certainly been got ready for the role "Snow White" since the script was written by me, there is such a sense of nervousness washing over me and pushing me in an awkward condition.
During the rehearsal process, I paid the least attention to what other roles were acting, merely got too preoccupied with my own negligible thoughts to get under skin of "Snow White". I know it was disappointing to the rest of casts as my play-acting just drew a obvious superficial attitude without passion and enthusiasm.
I'm sorry for being indifferent and showing no taste of anything around me in the way, though my mind is not genuinely stable at the moment for some reasons and I guess anyone who is reading this blog might not get it more clearly.
In honest, I reckon I have been got through the damn period of missing him and mistreating myself for what I have done. Sadly, the pain seems to never pass further as my guts told me, it still dwells in here, right in my heart, and saws it off like a blunt razor. Little by little. Days by days. Fuck! it's so horrible and dull aching that I only wish to end this pain at any rate even if I must commit some evil crime.
Ah...why must I memorize forgettable things this long? and why do girls we constantly tend to love bad guys instead of keeping ourselves safe and sound with nice guys? ain't they bad enough to mark deep scars on our hearts like bad ones do?
It's just stupid. Okay, stop right away and focus on my spirit for the following day. I can't disappoint anyone again... Everything is going to be fine as usual, isn't it?! Take a deep breath and beam up, babe!
Good luck,
Hal
xoxo
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